In a really sucky mood.

Seriously, why am I always being treated this way? You come to me when you need my help, and you ignore me (and my presence) when you no longer need my help.

Am I merely a tool?

This has been an on-going problem since polytechnic days. No matter what I did or how hard I try, nothing fruitful seems to come out of it. Rather, it always end up the same thing - being used over and over again; just like a shoe - thrown at one corner whenever it's unwanted.

Often, I asked myself - why am I being such a fool over and over again, to give all out when they approached me for help, knowing that I'm not being appreciated? And if I don't help, they'll say I'm selfish. When I help, I'm just being used by them.

Enough is enough. Stop taking advantage of my soft-heartedness, will you?

Being soft-hearted really kills, which brought me to such an ending in a relationship. And now, it's friends, or rather, just mates.

I'm really sick and tired of this.. to the extent I no longer want to travel to Taiwan with them. "Them". In the very first place, I'd only asked one person. And she went to ask the second, then third and etc, which made me totally fed up, especially when things are going this way now.

"Someone" said I'll most likely be the one who goes MIA after graduating. I was very affirmed that I won't all the while, until now. Let me tell you now - yes, I will. It was never my intention to do this, rather, it was the undoing of you people which gave me that thought.

I'm really on the verge of breaking down.

Can't I just stop being a busybody to help them? Why must I always go all out? Why can't I just give 50% (or lesser) of it?

Labels: Disappointed