03.05.10

Elder brother is so sweet. =D Sister-in-law told me that they went supermarket the other day and when they were at the ice-cream section, she told brother that my favourite is Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheescake ice-cream. Then brother searched for it, but he couldn't find any in the end. That's really sweet of him, heh. Ya, brother, I know, we just don't show our care and concern. =P

As for today's lesson, it was erm.. fun. Well, teacher grouped us randomly and I ended up with two other guys. To describe one of the guys in my group, well, I can say he's jovial, crazy and fun. lolx. Really a crappy guy. Thanks to his craps, that I didn't really feel bored. lolx. Glad that I'm in this group because other groups seemed the serious kind.

Oh, and did I mention that I snatched two girls to my IS module project group? =D


Sister-in-law knows about us.


04.05.10

Disappointed, with regards to school. Period.


05.05.10

He sacrificed his sleep for me. *touched*


06.05.10

I'm just so disappointed to the max (with regards to school), and almost teared. But the thought of him gave me the strength to hang on. However, the feeling of skipping school is back, too.

That's just how serious this can affect me.


07.05.10

As mentioned last week, I brought my laptop for repair and was told that it'd take about four days. However, it's been more than a week and yet I've not received a call from them. Hence, I phoned them up just now and was told that they'll be changing the motherboard (yes, again) and keyboard, and it'll only be ready for collection next week. And I have an assignment which requires a laptop next Tuesday. =\

Labels: Disappointed, Down, Love, Sick, Troubled

Oh well, spider webs are forming so I guess it's time for some updates.

Shall start off with the first day of the month then!

01.03.2009

It's our 7th monthsary! =) Didn't go anywhere but we did spend the whole day together.

Besides that, eldest brother finally got married! Congratulations! Hehs! Best wishes for a blissful marriage! =) Photos aren't available yet though.


02.03.2009

I drank some red wine yesterday and dear suggested that we skipped school for the day. =\ Woke up at 10am, but am still feeling sleepy for don't-know-what reason. Hence head off to bed again in the noon. And that's how I spent my day. Quite wasted, isn't it? =X


03.03.2009

Quite a short period of stay for relatives from Hong Kong. Five days, if I'm remember correctly. They left today. Thought I could reach home in time, but they left a few minutes before I'm home.


04.03.2009 - 10.03.2009

Had dear's company everyday as he revise and tutors me. x3 But I'm overly-stressed which made me fell sick yet again. And again worries dear. I'm so sorry. =( And the thought of time's running out for me made me throw my temper at dear at times too. I'm sorry again, dear. =(

I'm glad there's dear with me throughout this period, else I could really fell sick, and couldn't understand a single thing of Auditing. Thanks dear! =)


11.03.2009

Last paper for the course. And took my favourite bus to interchange for these two days. Auditing paper ends at 10.35am according to my watch. And so, that spells freedom! Yay! =D

With this, the two-year course had finally ended. I miss school actually. Hah. Miss the teachers there, miss that little study corner where I used to go when I first came, miss everything everything. And of course, it's also because of the course that got dear and I together. Thanks someone of course, for getting us together. =)

Alright, so we headed over to Pastamania to have our lunch before heading to Plaza Singapura to get present for relative. Dear is clever to asked to get that gift. Hah.

Headed home after that, and finally decided to sign up for Asda Story. Got hooked to the game quite shortly after, which I didn't want to. =\ And I actually wanted to return to MapleStory. Well, I guess I should. Asda Story's really killing me. And I really sensed something. =( You may not believe it, but really, I do feel it. Am I too sensitive? Or is it it's exactly how I felt? I really feel like we're drifting. I'm really afraid. I really don't want to be thrown back into the situation we had last month.

I know I should really shorten my playing hours. I really didn't want to return to old path. Alright, shall start from today then.


13.03.2009

Relatives took the early flight back to China. And life's back to normal once again.


14.03.2009

It's Manchester United versus Liverpool today. Liverpool won Manchester United 4-1. Yeah, I'm happy definitely. But I remember this match almost a year back. It was just a few days before that. Liverpool lost the game. And that was the last Manchester United match you ever watched.


15.03.2009

A rather relaxing day at work today. Prime Minister came over for the opening ceremony and aunt keep telling me to seize the chance to get in to the crowd. Hahs. She's so nice. And I guess I'm really lucky to have seen the Prime Minister on both opening ceremonies of the market Mum and Aunt's at. Mum's a few years back when I was in Secondary four or five. Really didn't expect to have another chance again. =D But then again, it was yet another case of so near, yet so far. =X


16.03.2009

It's been days and I finally saw dear again. He won't know how much I miss him. Aiks, it's time I guess. He ain't contacting me as much as before already. Perhaps it's really time I get used to it. It's really worrying me you know?


17.03.2009

Finally decided to go for facial. Was late for an hour and I feel really bad about it. =\ I've decided already, that I'll go alone in the future. Anyway, facial's down at the moment, but the lazy me am still thinking when to turn up for my hair treatment session. Wanted to practise on make-up too, but my make-up kit's with second sister-in-law.

I'm really bored at home at times. Nothing to do, no one to chat with, which makes me start thinking anyhow again. =( And yes, this time it's serious. I've already start thinking of the worst which of course I didn't want to. But I just... it's terrible.


19.03.2009

Been having nightmares, of which two are the same ones. =( (was reminded of it when dear told me he dreamt about something this afternoon) Wanted to have you so much by my side. But I know it's impossible. Couldn't sleep alone either. Been sleeping with lights on for the past few days, which I know of course that it's very wasteful. I didn't want that too. But the day is drawing nearer. When the lights are off, and my eyes are shut, those images just came flying back to me. It's really terrible.

Actually it's been like this since that day. I can say that I never really had a good sleep, be it sleeping in brother's room or my room. It's like those images just came back the moment I shut my eyes, daily. And I can't help but imagining things in the dark. It's going to be a year in a few days' time. Just how long does this have to go on?

I didn't tell dear a thing about this. So he probably thought I'm just afraid of the dark. I know this is a psychological problem. And I had, because of this, asked Yan Ling if she knows any psychology doctor. Things were really very bad back then. I didn't sleep a wink at all in the first week. Thought I would slowly forget about this but actually I couldn't do it. It's still bugging me till now. =(

I won't tell my family a thing about this because I know they'll say "what's there to be afraid of? He's your uncle. You're just thinking too much." I know, I know. I know I'm thinking alot. But what to do? I didn't want it too. It's a trauma to me.


20.03.2009

Brother asked me to sleep in his room suddenly. I know it's about the same matter. But anyway, I'm glad there's him. He didn't off lights when he sleep yesterday, and the day before, he slept with the television watching him. ~.~ Okay, we're really siblings. =X


21.03.2009

I just remembered it's the 21st today. Happy 1st Anniversary to 2nd brother and sister-in-law! =)


Five more days.. Will you be by my side?


Hopefully my dream comes true.
Hopefully dear could get a job soon, so he don't have to trouble for the next two years over the issue.
Hopefully things goes smoothly for us.
Hopefully we lasts.
Hopefully I get out of this situation soon.
Hopefully I can overcome this, soon.
Hopefully I can stay strong.
Hopefully dear don't get sick that often.
Hopefully brother gets his course.
Hopefully I stop my Asda Story addiction; I don't wanna be cooped at home anymore, too.
Hopefully I get less sensitive.
Hopefully.. hopefully...


One thing I'm very certain with - I love you.

Labels: 21/03/2008, 26/03/2008, Bored, Down, Love, Wishes

01.02.2009

Happy 6th monthsary! x3

- no photos due to uploading problem.


02.02.2009

Thanks dear for the company! x3


04.02.2009

Silly thoughts today and one of the wild thoughts I had - jumped off the building in school. Not really in my right state of mind. Thanks TG for chatting with me in the auditorium. =) I must say that he's really clever at times. I'm so lost without you. Didn't want to come home so early, and so decided to go Raffles Place. Jurong Point yesterday. Haven't been alone for quite some time already. Anyway, couldn't stay long there as I'm having problems with my leg and toe.

Decided to go home and reached home by 12.15pm. Boarded 234 home by the way, but my mood wasn't brighten up by it. Don't know what to do, so decided to sleep. Already the third dream since that happened. Couldn't really sleep well too; been missing you too much. Been tossing around and around, checking my phone. And that resulted in my headache now. =\

"说好的幸福呢" has been "playing" in my mind every moment since yesterday. Was struggling whether to message you or not because I sensed that you want nothing to do with me anymore. But I still did. And I didn't expect to get a reply.

But it's all history now.


My dear,

Six months had past. And you've already became a part of my life. You mean a lot to me, so much so that I couldn't describe.. And I can't lose you. We've been through lots of ups and downs. We've come this far, and we've just been acknowledged by my family. That's what we've been looking towards to. So all the more we can't give up.

You're the one I cherished dearly, though only second to my family. The third thing I cherished is that pooh bear. =P It's really useful my dear. It's akin to a replacement of you when you aren't around. Been hugging it these two days, and it's filled with tears. =\ Glad that it's sorted out already. It'll never happen again my dear. I love you. x3

Labels: 01.08.2008, Love

Found this on the web the other day.


If a girl cries in front of you, it means that she couldn’t take it anymore.
If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life;
If you let her go, she couldn’t go back to being herself anymore.

A girl won’t cry easily,
Except in front of the person whom she love the most,
She becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily,
Only when she loves you the most,
She puts down her ego.

Guys,
If a girl cries because of you
Please hold her hands firmly,
She’s the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.

Guys,
If a girl cries because of you,
Please don’t give her up,
Maybe because of your decision, you ruin her life.

When she cry right in front of you,
When she cry because of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can you see and feel the pain and hurt she’s feeling?

Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity,
In front of you,
And because of you?

She cry not because she is weak,
She cry not because she wants sympathy or pity.

She cry,
Because crying silently is no longer possible.
The pain, hurt, and agony
Have become too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys,
If a girl cry her heart out to you,
And all because of you,
It’s time to look back on what you have done,
Only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it,
Because one day,
It may be too late for regrets,
It may even be too late to say “I’m sorry”.

Do not do this to a girl,
You may regret for the rest of your life.

Maybe in your life,
She's the only one that love YOU the most.

One day,
When she don't cry for you anymore,
You know you have lost her.

Labels: Love