strawberry is her love;
blur & ultra short-term memory;
she's emotional & cries easily;
above all, she's proud of her heart that's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned & broken, but somehow still works.
trust me,
she's stronger than you think.
the rants.
sweet desires.
family to be safe and healthy unisim accountancy degree / acca true happiness winnie the pooh dslr-capable digital camera family trip trip to england trip to korea singtel & scs race against cancer marathon
Okay. So, the results for the bridging course has released. Well, to be honest, though I know it would be released in July, but I didn't expect it to be this early. I'd actually happened to chanced upon it when I "itchy hand" and went to clicked on "Academic Profile" after logging in to the Student Portal.
And so, I so happened to see a "Pass" indicated for my Econs module, which is like a WOW. lol. Seriously, I didn't expect myself to pass this module because I've always been weak in this and didn't have much confidence actually. Went to double-check and indeed, I really managed to secure a pass for Econs! Now, that's really something to be happy about! :)
But wait, Econs ain't the only module I took for the bridging course. There's still the Maths module. Okay, to be very honest, I had more confidence in Maths than in Econs, and I'd expect to have at least passed the module. But hell no. I went to select the module and saw a "Fail". Depressed much.
Passed 1/2 modules for exemptions. Supposed to be able to complete the whole degree course in 2 years, but with only 1/2 modules passed, I can't help thinking - now what? No doubt, it has left me dangling there pondering if this is really what I want - I mean, if this really suits me? Studying a degree just for the sake of its reputation?
Actually to be honest, even after doing the e-course registration last month, I'm still asking myself - is this really what I want? Well, I've been evading this question mainly because I've paid so much for the bridging courses and if I were to change my mind, wouldn't I be wasting the money I've spent thus far?
I'd actually went for interviews for the past few days, and once again, each interview I went, they've all advised me not to go for UOL. Their reaction (from how I interpreted) were like, UOL ain't that good, I shouldn't be considering that. I was like, "uh, how come? Shouldn't a UK degree be more recognised, and more "heavy-weight" than RMIT, UniSIM degrees?" I REALLY thought all employers thought so, until the first I went, actually advised me to go for RMIT instead. And the third one, to UniSIM. So, the conclusion? They don't really care about UOL. Am I right to say that?
Two assignments due noon tomorrow. Did majority of my part in school earlier on. Should've continue plus do some touch-up on the assignments after I got home. However, my mood was totally dampened looking at what you wrote. Seriously don't feel like doing anything and wanna rot on my bed instead. Can I just leave the assignments as they are, and let anyone that's concerned to wrap up everything? I'm really tired..
------------------------
Seriously, I really think both I and he are one hell of poor people (or rather, tanker for projects, as one schoolmate suggests). Wrap-ups are always left for us to do, with us completing only in the early morning. I really felt unjustified at times. One word from you all - tired - and that's it. Tired means not bothering about the projects and assignments anymore, leaving us to do the final works which usually stretches till late in the night. Sure, you do contribute in the earlier works. But can't you see there's always lots to do for the wrap-ups? Hello? There's always an exception. You're tired, but don't I? But despite that, I still force myself to stay awake and finish up everything. Probably you'd think there's surely someone in the group who's very concerned about the works, that's why you can leave everything as it is. One word - pissed. Yes, I'm so totally pissed off, especially with I-shall-not-mention-who. Damn. You'll never know how hard it is to do all these shits.
That's life, I know. I'm bursting. I just wanna rant it all out in the only personal space I have.
3.08am, 27 May 2011 - Two assignments. Haven't even complete either yet. I've done whatever shits that's left, with the final part awaiting him. Task accomplished and off to bed now.
Well, so this is what I get for being nice. If by pointing out your mistake to help you prevent loss of marks is an act of offending you, such that you had to hurl such crude remarks on me, thank you very much. You've made me realise what sort of person you actually are.
No matter how hurtful your words were to me, all I did were merely rant out my unhappiness. Never did I ever hurl such hurtful remarks. But you? Oh, so you mean you're the only one who can offend one with your words, while others who did it either intentionally, or unintentionally can't?
Perhaps whatever I does ain't pleasant to your eyes/ears. Whereas, what some other person did were all pleasant to you. I don't know if you're really that ignorant that you didn't know you hurt me with your words very often, or you were merely acting blur.
No matter how unhappy I am, I'll always force a smile on my face. Probably that's the reason why you don't feel I'm offended and hurt by your words?! Anyhow, that still don't justify such treatments. My silence doesn't mean nothing. You're too insensitive to my feelings. I may be always joking around and laughing with you, but mind you, I've feelings and I do get hurt too.
I really find myself stupid at times. I always go all out when it comes to helping others, especially you in recent times. Despite the fact that you often hurt me with your words, I still forget about them and help you if it's within my means. But this is the "kindness" I'm returned with?!
So these are what I deserved, for being sucha kaypoh, eh?
Since these are what I'll get, I guess, I'd better keep my mouth shut from today. And when that happens, don't act ignorant and ask why I'm so quiet again. And when I don't share, don't ask me why either.
I'm sick of all that, really.
Fake friends. So that's the definition of it. Thanks for defining it for me.
Please tell me all that has happened to uncle isn't true. ='(
Life is really unfair. Why does such things always happen to the good ones?
What wrong has he done, that he deserves such treatment?
Of all the uncles that I have, he's the one I'm closest with.
I can't help worrying and I really feared for the worst.
Please don't take uncle away, can? ='(
Please, please don't let anything happen to him. =(
I know I'm not good with words and I'm not the expressive kind, which makes some think that I'm nonchalant about things surrounding me. But deep down, I'm really concerned and do care alot. I guess it's also partly due to the fact that I don't talk about problems with my family, neither do I break down before them. Hence, when problems arise, I don't find it a norm to confide in family members.
And somehow, it's such a coincidence that dear's always with me whenever I received negative news on uncle's condition. Perhaps it's a rather fated thingy, since I'm bound to break down and need a shoulder to cry on. And of course, his shoulder's the most suitable one in this case. I know he doesn't know how he should comfort me, but dear, it's suffice that you're with me at such moments, and your shoulder's there for me.
Life hasn't been a breeze for me since last week, or rather, since this semester. Isn't it just amazed to see how people have changed, so easily? Well, that's part and parcel of life. There's nothing you can do, and you just have to live with it. But how? I know myself well, that it ain't going to be an easy task for me. I admit I don't handle such situation well, too. Oh well, I'll just have to try to bear with it. I know and understand what everyone will say, but seriously, this isn't what can be done over a day. Time is the key.
Rather than forcing both of them to split, I should just retreat on my own. It's either take it or leave it. If no one wants to pair with me, I'm fine. I can do it on my own. That way, I don't have to beg - for partners. It's no difference whether I do it on my own or with the other partner-less person, since that person doesn't always do her work too.
Anyway, I realised there's no friends in poly that you're able to really confide in. To each his own. In poly, they only care about themselves. Otherwise, it's probably just a facade. With that, I'm seriously losing confidence in friendships.
I'm really sick and tired of all these shyts. It's really becoming a suffering and stress for me each time I go to school. Shouldn't students be happy going to school? Why then, am I not?
Don't say I'm emo-ing. I'm not, alright?! It's all because you chose to treat me that way, which made you felt what you think I felt.
Very often, I felt that I'm just a tool, and a really stupid fool. I always allow others to make use of me, then got left out when I'm of no use.
Always pushed me to others. Have you thought, if this is what I want, whether I mind it or not? Have you respect me? No! You just do what you like. That's you. And it's bothering me so much.
Poured out part what I felt to dear yesterday. And today, I had to encounter this, which actually had been bothering me all along.
Things have come to this state and it starts to make me wonder, why do everyone behave such a way in polytechnic? It's just too ugly.
P.S. It's the third time of the week that I felt this way. And it's not the first time I blogged about this.
Cost Accounting Common Test was a total crap. The theory, that is. Was basically crapping all the way for theory questions. -_- Hopefully I'll be able to at least score some marks for them. Anyway, the paper aside, the invigilator was darn irritating. The way he spoke was really very g-l. -_- Really can't stand it. And something which he did later on further infuriates me. We're busying doing our test and he just came and check on our calculators. Like, wth. I know that's his job to ensure the students don't cheat, but that's really a disturbance. Well, at least to me. Though only several times, but the moment he's near my area, I just couldn't concentrate. =\ Probably due to the prejudice that I had right from the start. Oh well.
What happened later in the day just made me felt worse. I'm just beginning to fear that place. And I guess I won't be going there anytime soon. Dear will be understanding towards this, right?
Anyways, received elder brother's SMS when I reached home, telling me that he's bought Ben & Jerry's ice-cream for me. Should be he can't find strawberry cheescake, that's why he bought vanila flavour instead. But still, he's so sweet. Hehs! ❤
Elder brother is so sweet. =D Sister-in-law told me that they went supermarket the other day and when they were at the ice-cream section, she told brother that my favourite is Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheescake ice-cream. Then brother searched for it, but he couldn't find any in the end. That's really sweet of him, heh. Ya, brother, I know, we just don't show our care and concern. =P
As for today's lesson, it was erm.. fun. Well, teacher grouped us randomly and I ended up with two other guys. To describe one of the guys in my group, well, I can say he's jovial, crazy and fun. lolx. Really a crappy guy. Thanks to his craps, that I didn't really feel bored. lolx. Glad that I'm in this group because other groups seemed the serious kind.
Oh, and did I mention that I snatched two girls to my IS module project group? =D
Sister-in-law knows about us.
04.05.10
Disappointed, with regards to school. Period.
05.05.10
He sacrificed his sleep for me. *touched*
06.05.10
I'm just so disappointed to the max (with regards to school), and almost teared. But the thought of him gave me the strength to hang on. However, the feeling of skipping school is back, too.
That's just how serious this can affect me.
07.05.10
As mentioned last week, I brought my laptop for repair and was told that it'd take about four days. However, it's been more than a week and yet I've not received a call from them. Hence, I phoned them up just now and was told that they'll be changing the motherboard (yes, again) and keyboard, and it'll only be ready for collection next week. And I have an assignment which requires a laptop next Tuesday. =\
Baked strawberry jam cookie the other day but Dad wasn't at home. Hence, when I was using computer this afternoon, Dad took the cookie and asked where I bought it from. lolx. *happy* Had good review from Dad, though I wasn't satisfied with the results. Well, that was my very first attempt in making this cookie. Disappointed that I still couldn't control the oven well. =( I know appearance ain't that important, what matters is the taste, but still.. =(
Was listening to songs in computer as I played games on iPhone just now. 为何你对我许下承诺 was being played and there's flashbacks immediately. It's as if I'm being teleported back to that day. =( Sigh, just how long will it take to rid of those unhappy memories? =(
I'm just so disappointed in myself that, I can't seem to do good planning. It's just so some daily routine, nothing special at all. And I know things turned out to be boring. =( What disappoint the most was probably the melted cake. First, was late - very. Next, cake was melted. Further ahead, wrong choice of movie. "Special celebration" indeed. =(
So, school's starting tomorrow already. Just packed my bag and realised it's bigger in size than my previous one. That explains why I've been feeling something's weird about the bag. Apart from that, I find that this bag ain't that convenient as the previous one. As in, when putting stuffs into the bag. =(
Well, back to school just spells sianzation. But I miss my chicken mayo sandwich. <3 Thank goodness my IS module's in the afternoon, else I'll surely have heavy Monday blues since the morning session's at 8am. And someone would not let me watch my One Million Star for sure. =X
Deep within right now, I'm having mixed feelings with the reopening of school. It's not about school, but rather, something personal. It's about this time last semester.. I'm with a heavy heart right now.. The cold shoulder, begun exactly six months ago, and lasted for five days before you put an end to it. I'm sorry but it's not that I want to be reminded of that matter.. Those memories.. It just came upon me.
As Pei Er suggested, expressing the thoughts will aid in fading those memories.
With the repeat of Arsenal vs Barcelona in Champions League, I'm absolutely not okay at all.
They keep saying about this player's return to Emirates Stadium. Just like after-dinner just now. Brothers and uncle were discussing about this. I don't know.. I just can't control myself with the mention of that player's name. Tears almost dropped. And I just walked back to my room without asking brother what I wanted to ask initially.
It was the wedding of sister-in-law's brother yesterday. Actually, I'm sorry to say this, but I really don't feel like going. I'm sure no one who has just gone through a failed relationship (and is an injured party) will want to attend such ceremony.
A song was being played as the bride and groom marched in. It was "endless love". Those memories were back.. I remember making a video of us with this song around this time last year. Immediately my eyes turned watery. Thank goodness the lights were off during that period. And I managed to held back my tears before the lights turned on.
This dinner's like arrows peircing through my heart.. each time so deeply.. and bleeds..
I wasn't.. at all happy.
I thought my tears for you had stopped, only to realise it actually hadn't.
PBL 1 has finally come to an end. I wouldn't say it was a successful one, because I'm rather disappointed.
PBL 1 is the fruit of my labour. If I were to gauge the effort I put in, it would be 95%. I'm actually quite confident ahead of today's presentation. However, to my horror, I found out a big mistake upon looking at other group's presentation. I actually overlooked the last part of the task. I believe that costs a lot. It's really painful.
I'm really disappointed in myself for causing the loss of marks for my group. How could I..? How could I make such a big mistake? I should have realised that when I wrote the script. But, I don't know.. I got no idea what came into me. I'm just blindfolded when it came to reading the last part. All I can say is, I'm really, really disappointed. I've put in so much effort, doing hell loads of checking and writing the script all on my own. It was really perfect in my eyes. But just because of my mistake, we've got to suffer a loss of marks, which costs dearly.
It was with such strong emotions as I'm blogging. Everything was so fake. I could no longer differentiate between truth and lies. Love hurts. AND it never heals. I remember I was in school pre-listening to Yoga Lin's new album when Mei Bao sms-ed me. It was playing 'shuo huang'.
Just as I was on the road to recovery, things had to happen once again. I've lost my pillar of strength. I no longer have the strength and willpower to do anything.
(the above was typed with a mixture of feelings, based on what came into my mind at different point in time, with no intention initially of linkage to this post.)
The road ahead is blur. Home, is no longer where I belong. Where then, do I belong to?
And I finally broke down yesterday. I don't remember when's the last time I cried so bitterly. Perhaps, that was due to suppressing the sorrows, misery, and stress I've had since it happened. Wanted to look for second sister-in-law, but I didn't want to trouble her over perhaps, such 'small' things. Plus, her working hours aren't fixed. Eldest sister-in-law wasn't in my thought because I know she's busy enough due to work and family. Friends were busy as well. Had thought of looking for them, but I didn't want to travel through those routes anymore. You know, each time I see bus 74 when I travel to and fro school, the hurt deepens. And the thought of travelling to second brother's house in Woodlands would mean I have to take the red-line train. It will no doubt add on to the hurt as well. Somehow, each and every little detail we had will link to the things I do, or will do.
With everyone busy with their lives, how could I still trouble them with my not-so-important problems? I know bottling everything within myself ain't healthy. But what to do? I know friends will say, they'll be there for me. But.. I really don't know. Perhaps, just let me return to the past, where I'm all alone; the person who never confide in anyone.
I actually am on the road to recovery, yet I'm plugged with something that's just happened the previous day. I know I could no longer take it this time.
I went to school in the morning, and reached home near 11pm, when lecture ended at 4pm. I stayed in school after the lecture because I really need some time alone. I don't feel like returning home. But the place I was at, OurSpace, closes at 10pm. Had no choice, but to leave for home. Just as I didn't want bus 157 to arrive fast, it arrived within minutes of alighting outside the Shell station. Reached my block at 10.30pm, but I really have no wish to return home. Then I walked over and sat at the place where you asked if we could be together. Those memories, came running back.
Mum made a total of 18 calls on my handphone. I didn't pick up any at all. I know it's wrong of me to do that. I know I've worried her this way, but I really want no contact with anyone. And I know I'll get scolded when I reached home. True enough, I really did. I didn't blame her because I know it was my fault. But I could no longer suppress my feelings. And I finally broke down. I stayed in the toilet for 45 minutes, crying my lungs out. And at certain points, really felt like leaving this world.
Home, I could no longer find a sense of belonging. I wanted to find excuse to go out, but library's ain't opened on public holidays. Now I'm really like a mute. And I haven't smiled since this happened. Very soon, I'll get even introvert than I am now.
The future looks bleak. The path; where will it lead me to?
I'm.. tired..
This, has got to be the lowest of lowest point in my life.
It's an irony that I'm able to blog so much, but when it comes to writing essay, I could not write anything.
Edited:
I remember when's the last time I cried so bitterly. It was on 27.03.2008; the day we sent uncle on his last journey.
Something happened recently, and I just feel like letting out.
Well I guess no one knows how much I cherishes friendships. Friends means alot to me. If you know me well enough, you'll know my weakness is that I find it hard to reject help from friends. And now, I'm just hurt and disappointed at what happened.
"People do change over time." Thank you. So that's how you see me.
Yes, my character is level 200 already. And I promised I'll spam you. I gave you my promise and I'll do it. It's just a matter of time. You phoned me for help when your spammer left after awhile and you expect me to be on call for you? Surely you don't expect me to be available at all times, do you?
We were once guildmates and I definitely treasure the times we (Babylon-ians) had there. Those times were really fun. And the bonds we built there. Though it's just a pixel away, I definitely treasure the friendship we have. I'm really glad we managed to 'find back' each other in game after two long years. But yet, I didn't expect this had to happen. And because of this, I've lost faith in making new friends in game. I no longer feel like logging in my main. And I kinda lost interest in playing as well.
Actually I had already wanted to spam you the other time, but you told me suddenly that you're not leveling that character already. So I didn't say a word. And now you break off our ties because, as mentioned in your blog, I "don't even bother to help" you. And if you did asked me that night if I could train you on x day, well, I'm sorry. I was already tired at that time and wasn't in a good mood. And I was chatting with another buddy of mine too.
But anyway, "thanks" for my big name in your blog, Mr James See. I'm really disappointed.
Oh well, spider webs are forming so I guess it's time for some updates.
Shall start off with the first day of the month then!
01.03.2009
It's our 7th monthsary! =) Didn't go anywhere but we did spend the whole day together.
Besides that, eldest brother finally got married! Congratulations! Hehs! Best wishes for a blissful marriage! =) Photos aren't available yet though.
02.03.2009
I drank some red wine yesterday and dear suggested that we skipped school for the day. =\ Woke up at 10am, but am still feeling sleepy for don't-know-what reason. Hence head off to bed again in the noon. And that's how I spent my day. Quite wasted, isn't it? =X
03.03.2009
Quite a short period of stay for relatives from Hong Kong. Five days, if I'm remember correctly. They left today. Thought I could reach home in time, but they left a few minutes before I'm home.
04.03.2009 - 10.03.2009
Had dear's company everyday as he revise and tutors me. x3 But I'm overly-stressed which made me fell sick yet again. And again worries dear. I'm so sorry. =( And the thought of time's running out for me made me throw my temper at dear at times too. I'm sorry again, dear. =(
I'm glad there's dear with me throughout this period, else I could really fell sick, and couldn't understand a single thing of Auditing. Thanks dear! =)
11.03.2009
Last paper for the course. And took my favourite bus to interchange for these two days. Auditing paper ends at 10.35am according to my watch. And so, that spells freedom! Yay! =D
With this, the two-year course had finally ended. I miss school actually. Hah. Miss the teachers there, miss that little study corner where I used to go when I first came, miss everything everything. And of course, it's also because of the course that got dear and I together. Thanks someone of course, for getting us together. =)
Alright, so we headed over to Pastamania to have our lunch before heading to Plaza Singapura to get present for relative. Dear is clever to asked to get that gift. Hah.
Headed home after that, and finally decided to sign up for Asda Story. Got hooked to the game quite shortly after, which I didn't want to. =\ And I actually wanted to return to MapleStory. Well, I guess I should. Asda Story's really killing me. And I really sensed something. =( You may not believe it, but really, I do feel it. Am I too sensitive? Or is it it's exactly how I felt? I really feel like we're drifting. I'm really afraid. I really don't want to be thrown back into the situation we had last month.
I know I should really shorten my playing hours. I really didn't want to return to old path. Alright, shall start from today then.
13.03.2009
Relatives took the early flight back to China. And life's back to normal once again.
14.03.2009
It's Manchester United versus Liverpool today. Liverpool won Manchester United 4-1. Yeah, I'm happy definitely. But I remember this match almost a year back. It was just a few days before that. Liverpool lost the game. And that was the last Manchester United match you ever watched.
15.03.2009
A rather relaxing day at work today. Prime Minister came over for the opening ceremony and aunt keep telling me to seize the chance to get in to the crowd. Hahs. She's so nice. And I guess I'm really lucky to have seen the Prime Minister on both opening ceremonies of the market Mum and Aunt's at. Mum's a few years back when I was in Secondary four or five. Really didn't expect to have another chance again. =D But then again, it was yet another case of so near, yet so far. =X
16.03.2009
It's been days and I finally saw dear again. He won't know how much I miss him. Aiks, it's time I guess. He ain't contacting me as much as before already. Perhaps it's really time I get used to it. It's really worrying me you know?
17.03.2009
Finally decided to go for facial. Was late for an hour and I feel really bad about it. =\ I've decided already, that I'll go alone in the future. Anyway, facial's down at the moment, but the lazy me am still thinking when to turn up for my hair treatment session. Wanted to practise on make-up too, but my make-up kit's with second sister-in-law.
I'm really bored at home at times. Nothing to do, no one to chat with, which makes me start thinking anyhow again. =( And yes, this time it's serious. I've already start thinking of the worst which of course I didn't want to. But I just... it's terrible.
19.03.2009
Been having nightmares, of which two are the same ones. =( (was reminded of it when dear told me he dreamt about something this afternoon) Wanted to have you so much by my side. But I know it's impossible. Couldn't sleep alone either. Been sleeping with lights on for the past few days, which I know of course that it's very wasteful. I didn't want that too. But the day is drawing nearer. When the lights are off, and my eyes are shut, those images just came flying back to me. It's really terrible.
Actually it's been like this since that day. I can say that I never really had a good sleep, be it sleeping in brother's room or my room. It's like those images just came back the moment I shut my eyes, daily. And I can't help but imagining things in the dark. It's going to be a year in a few days' time. Just how long does this have to go on?
I didn't tell dear a thing about this. So he probably thought I'm just afraid of the dark. I know this is a psychological problem. And I had, because of this, asked Yan Ling if she knows any psychology doctor. Things were really very bad back then. I didn't sleep a wink at all in the first week. Thought I would slowly forget about this but actually I couldn't do it. It's still bugging me till now. =(
I won't tell my family a thing about this because I know they'll say "what's there to be afraid of? He's your uncle. You're just thinking too much." I know, I know. I know I'm thinking alot. But what to do? I didn't want it too. It's a trauma to me.
20.03.2009
Brother asked me to sleep in his room suddenly. I know it's about the same matter. But anyway, I'm glad there's him. He didn't off lights when he sleep yesterday, and the day before, he slept with the television watching him. ~.~ Okay, we're really siblings. =X
21.03.2009
I just remembered it's the 21st today. Happy 1st Anniversary to 2nd brother and sister-in-law! =)
Five more days.. Will you be by my side?
Hopefully my dream comes true. Hopefully dear could get a job soon, so he don't have to trouble for the next two years over the issue. Hopefully things goes smoothly for us. Hopefully we lasts. Hopefully I get out of this situation soon. Hopefully I can overcome this, soon. Hopefully I can stay strong. Hopefully dear don't get sick that often. Hopefully brother gets his course. Hopefully I stop my Asda Story addiction; I don't wanna be cooped at home anymore, too. Hopefully I get less sensitive. Hopefully.. hopefully...
Was reading the blog of my ex-classmate of kindergarten the other day and it made me realised how failure I am as a friend.
I'm always hoping for a true and lasting friendship. I mean, who doesn't? But as what people always said, "things don't always go your way". I've been through failed friendships. I thought I've learnt from them, only to realised it's useless no matter how much you give in. They'll still end it the same way. I'm so envy of people who've friends who's been through ups and downs with them. I've friends who have friends (sisters, as they called) that they've known since their primary school days and secondary school days. After my failed friendship in secondary school, I thought I'll be able to make some good friends in ITE. I did, yeah. But it doesn't last long. Barely less than half a year.
Am I really such a failure in friendship? Or, like dear said, perhaps I haven't met the one? Cried when pouring out these to dear the other day. Well, perhaps it's all fated. Fated that I'll be lonely for life. Felt like crying whenever I look back at brother's wedding the other day. Thought of the fun that they had with sister-in-law's sisters. And this inevitably brought me to think of my future, my wedding. Will mine be lively like sister-in-law's? Hah, well.. I guess not. There won't be a single soul, sister I mean, for sure.
So yup, I'm back to square one. After all these that I've gone through, I guess it's best that I return to the past me who doesn't talk much, staying as a loner. Well, here's what I learnt very recently.. Keeping quiet is the only way to not irritate someone.
I seriously have no idea what the hell I did that made me being disliked. Rather than getting backstabbed and hearing hurtful remarks, and being treated that way, it's best that I call it quits. It's already a mistake that I started off. And I'm not even considered as one long ago, anyway. Or perhaps, right from the beginning.
Nothing ever lasts for me.
Dear is the only true friend I have, if you considered him one. I felt so helpless if he ain't around. I guess I'd really be deemed a true loner if dear ever leaves me one day. Looking forward, I wonder what am I going to do when dear begins his NS. Hah.
family to be safe and healthy
dslr-capable digital camera