Over the past weeks, I've been feeling troubled over the changing of jobs.

Labels: Troubled, Work

Helloooo..!! I'm back. So fast, this time. lol. :D

It's been a pretty tiring CNY and I've been trying hard to get myself recover from the loss of sleep. And so, I'm on leave today because I couldn't drag myself up this morning due to the serious lethargic-ness I had yesterday. Errr, and my younger brother actually predicted my actions. >_<

As for now, I've to make a decision real soon - on my studies. Well, to be honest, I was actually really determined on enrolling for this degree. And I had really set my mind on it, like 6 months ago. However, something happened last month which made me have second thoughts. As mentioned previously, my assignment ended last month, and will be going on to my second assignment. This second assignment was located at Tampines. And I only got to know about it right on the day I reported to the client's place. Cool, yea? Please understand my frustrations alright? To travel daily from Jurong to Tampines is no joke - a 3-hour journey to-and-fro. This sucks, seriously. Well, such assignment of work definitely undermines one's work morale. Yes, that's exactly what I am experiencing.

Anyway, the job scope for this assignment really makes me feel like a thrash myself. I've been here for 3 weeks, and yet, the stuffs I've learnt amounts to zero. I don't see myself useful in any way, and am really having second thoughts about the accounting field.

Right now, I've to come to a decision soon - to follow my dream (of studying for an accountancy degree), or reconsider other areas? If I follow my dream, then, is this really what I want? Or I'm merely following blindly - to study for the sake of studying? If I am to venture into other areas, which suits me most? And if I study, it'll mean another 4 years.. age is already catching up with me.. can I really afford to spend another 4 years on it? Then, what if I realised it isn't what I want in the end?

Sighs, I'm so vexed..

Labels: Studies, Troubled, Work

03.05.10

Elder brother is so sweet. =D Sister-in-law told me that they went supermarket the other day and when they were at the ice-cream section, she told brother that my favourite is Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheescake ice-cream. Then brother searched for it, but he couldn't find any in the end. That's really sweet of him, heh. Ya, brother, I know, we just don't show our care and concern. =P

As for today's lesson, it was erm.. fun. Well, teacher grouped us randomly and I ended up with two other guys. To describe one of the guys in my group, well, I can say he's jovial, crazy and fun. lolx. Really a crappy guy. Thanks to his craps, that I didn't really feel bored. lolx. Glad that I'm in this group because other groups seemed the serious kind.

Oh, and did I mention that I snatched two girls to my IS module project group? =D


Sister-in-law knows about us.


04.05.10

Disappointed, with regards to school. Period.


05.05.10

He sacrificed his sleep for me. *touched*


06.05.10

I'm just so disappointed to the max (with regards to school), and almost teared. But the thought of him gave me the strength to hang on. However, the feeling of skipping school is back, too.

That's just how serious this can affect me.


07.05.10

As mentioned last week, I brought my laptop for repair and was told that it'd take about four days. However, it's been more than a week and yet I've not received a call from them. Hence, I phoned them up just now and was told that they'll be changing the motherboard (yes, again) and keyboard, and it'll only be ready for collection next week. And I have an assignment which requires a laptop next Tuesday. =\

Labels: Disappointed, Down, Love, Sick, Troubled

I'm now beginning to hate staying at home doing nothing. So yep, I'm almost killed by boredom again today. And so boredom will lead me to have "wonderful imagination" again...

Out with dear yesterday and I really enojyed myself, though something had happened.

Had wanted to make something for dear in the morning, but I was too tired to get up. But well, that was fated dear. Hahs. =D Didn't know dear will reach that early, so I took my own sweet time to prepare. I'm sorry dear. =\ Met dear, and he didn't realised something. Humph. =X

Had Subway at Cineleisure, then headed for movie - Ip Man. Afterwhich, dear bought me Famous Amos' cookies again. So love. Hehs. Thanks dear. x3 We finished up our cookie from Subway, then dear suggests getting drinks from 7-eleven. And that's when I remembered seeing the MapleStory-pictured slurpee cup. I had a hard time choosing one since one's a new job and the other, orange mushroom! Chose the new job's and promised to bring the mushroom one home soon. Hahs. =P

Headed to Plaza Singapura next to get my hair serum, then off to Bugis to get my moisturiser. First, Babylon2's anniversary. Next, PC Bunk. Then, guild creation. Too much of MapleStory thingy probably explains what happened next. Had a "heart-to-heart" chat with dear with regards to that. Thats like finally, because they had been piling up in my heart for quite some time already. Again, I know you wouldn't want me to apologise, but I'm really sorry dear. =(

BHG next to get shoes for dear. Then off to dinner at Pastamania. And what a correct timing on the way there. That song.. We were on that topic not long ago. And it so happened to be playing as we were on the way there.. Anyway, wrong choice of pasta perhaps, I thought mine's better. =X Err okay.. slightly better. Argh, stupid me! I guess I blogged the wrong thing.. because that reminded me of something again. =( I think I'm the sort that once things are spilled out, I'd get reminded of that something even often than before. I'm sorry dear, don't get worried alright?

Actually we're already on the way home after that, but brother told me that he hasn't yet ordered the cake for grandma. ~.~ Jurong Entertainment's closed for renovation works, and the only place that's nearest's Jurong Point. So we had to head to Jurong Point to order. And dear must've know that I didn't want to use my NETS, hence offered to pay for the cake first. Thanks dear. =) I'm broke like seriously. =( Guess it's time to learn how to bake cake already. =X

NTUC after that to get Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheesecake. =D Dear asked if I want the ice-cream or Sara Lee's strawberry cheesecake. And I chose the ice-cream, simply because I can enjoy it while watching television! Haas! =D Initially we couldn't find the mini tub at JP1, so I told dear that I don't want it anymore. Then he told me to take a look at FairPrice Xtra at JP2. Headed there, and the mall's quite huge. Haven't yet explore the mall with dear though. Anyway, we couldn't find any mini tubs in FairPrice Xtra too. Not even strawberry cheescake. And just when we're about to fully give up, we saw another Ben & Jerry's section at other side. Hahs. ~.~

Had wanted to eat with dear, but time doesn't permits us to do so. Sorry dear. =( We're off to the counter after that and seriously, it's very similar to the one at AMK Hub, just as what dear said. I noticed one difference though and I guess dear must be very relieved about that. *don't let my imagination run wild* Okay, thanks dear again for the ice-cream. You're really sweet. =)

Home-ed after that and I thought dear would head back after I got out from the lift. But he didn't. And I'm very touched indeed because that's the first time. Thanks dear. =) *loves

So to sum up everything, it's sweet and bitter today. And of course, sweet surpass bitter! x3

And dear.. You said you wanted to know what's on my mind on the way to Jurong Point.. Okay, so here goes.. Have you been to a concert before? Well, that's the last question on my mind I suppose.


I really hope to clear things up before I could clear everything off.

"Time will heal the wounds." Hopefully. And hopefully as time goes by, I'll really be able to rid her off my mind. Especially after our chat yesterday. Those images.. those stuffs.. what she wrote.. You know it ain't easy because girls tend to remember such things clearly, though it was seen only once.

But even if this is cleared, there's still something else in my mind.. And only I myself know about this..

Am I thinking too much, that results in my giddy-ness now? But I thought it'll only lead to headache? Now, there must've a problem in me.

And you know what? I was previewing my entry for errors, and again... yes, it was playing again.

Labels: Cookies, Food, MapleSEA, Movies, Troubled

Argh, I hate myself!
Three consecutive days. Neither one feel good at the end of the day.
Something must happen. And it's because of the same person.
The feeling's terrible.
Why, why must it always be like this?
Can't I just stop all these nonsense?


Just when will I be able to rid her off my mind?

Sometimes I really wonder if you meant what you said - are they the truth? Did you lie to me? I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be doubting you, but seriously I just can't stop myself from doing that you know.

-----------------

Shall let the photos do the talking today.

Hmm, since it's the first photo of dear and me in my blog, shall choose the best one of course. ;)




May our love lasts.

PS. No other photos of mine since I ain't pretty. =)


There's actually a talk in our school this Monday. One of the facilitators, Joe, is married. And his wife's six years older than he is. Perhaps like what some thinks, age doesn't matter as long as true love exists between the two party. Frankly speaking, I still do mind. =\ But, if he (Joe) can do it, why can't I?

How I wish we could be like those normal couples...

Labels: Disappointed, Photos, Troubled

22.09.2008 & 23.09.2008

Terrible days for me at work as I had to bear with the pain of my feet due to those blisters. And yes! Blisters are back! Argh! They're just so unsightful. =( Other than that, I thought I had already recovered from stomach flu (as sister-in-law referred to as), but in actual fact I hadn't. I was feeling real terrible for these two days.

Probably long hours of computer usage adds on to my terrible-ness, too. Felt a lil hungry, yet had no appetite after getting dinner. But despite this, I still managed to put on weight. How weird could that be? =\ And once again, I've made dear worried again. I'm so sorry, dear..

Work was alright. Colleagues, who are on attachment as well, are really fun to mixed around with. One of the guys, YT, is sucha joker! Adding a bit a lame-ness as well? =X Haas. Seriously, they really made my day. Thanks guys, I really had fun with you. =)

Oh, and this brought me to something else. It's regarding what happened after work on Monday. Dear should know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry to have said that, and felt that way. But you're really silly, dear. I know this don't linked, but just look at Babylon2. I mean, how I treated Babylon2. I've been there for like 65 levels? That's about 1 year and 8 months. I believe you know what happened after that. And the only time I left was when I feel that I no longer have the "face" to stay on in Babylon2, after that Wild Cargo thingy. (and I still remember who that guy is okay!<>.<>) That's how loyal and devoted I am. Look, it's just a guild, yet I treated it that way. What's more, we're talking about a relationship here. So dear, I know it's hard, but try not to bear those silly thoughts in your mind anymore, okay? =)


24.09.2008

Never a day in my life did so much happened. (blah, lousy English.)

Didn't went to work as I was feeling real terrible. That uneasy feeling just won't go away. My feet needs to get some rest too.

Thank goodness I didn't went for work today. I found out something when I woke up. And no, I'm not going a mention a word about something so serious here. Every moment now, I'd think of negative stuffs that might happen. At home, that is. I'm just so afraid you see.

Third trouble of the day. Mum spoke to me again. And I was really.. Ahh, I don't know how to put it. But thank goodness Mum's room was quite dark at that time, else she'd had seen my tears. =\

Dear's really sweet to have come all the way from Ang Mo Kio to bring me to the doctor. Thanks, dear. =) What you said, really touched me you know. Had wanted to visit the doctor initially, but something happened and I decided not to go in the end.

I emailed the whole matter (trouble number three) to second sister-in-law in the night. And it so happened that she's online today. We chatted, and she's behind me. Thanks, second sister-in-law. =) She's always the best candidate to address my relationship problem. I know eldest brother and sister-in-law will be behind me, too. Right? Seriously, their words and support are what keeps me going. x3 I didn't tell dear about this though. =X But I know he'll come to know about this when he SPYS on my blog, right? =D


25.09.2008

Stomach hurts so much in the morning. And it was only until the fourth or fifth time that I managed to cure it. I know that's not the word to use, but well, I just couldn't thought of a word to replace that at the moment. Went in to the office and one of the lady had a chat with me. She dislikes me, I know. The conversation we had today totally hurts me and brought me to tears. Damn. I really hate myself. Had wanted to solve the problem personally but couldn't get to see the boss. Then I had no choice but to take leave.

I broke down in front of dear. And that was the first time I suppose? =\ Argh. Really, seriously, damn. I'm sucha weako. Reached Jurong East, and was actually heading towards 98, until my intuition told me that my favourite bus's arriving. I looked over, and it really is. But then, I saw only one person queuing for the bus, so I'm not really sure if it's coming over. Anyways, we did get on to the bus. And yea, my mood was seriously brighten up immediately. Oh, and that was the first time we took 234 after we got together, right? =)

I managed to get sister-in-law's help after that. Thanks so much. Seriously, if it weren't for sister-in-law, I really wouldn't know what to do. She's really of a big help to me. And I know I'm right in my decision to ask sister-in-law for help with regards to work and studies.

Terrible headache since afternoon. Had wanted to look for cookies' recipes online but had to put a halt to it. =(

Oh and before I forget, I listened to one of the songs from Raymond Lam's second album today. That was the second third one actually. First song was actually posted up when I first did Cynthia's quiz. Anyway, that was really nice! Trust me, his voice's as charming mesmerising as always! =D I must get to the music store real soon.


26.09.2008

Problem's solved, I hope. But now, I'm starting to think of the complications, though sister-in-law and dear already told me everything will be fine. I know I'm always thinking alot, but still... Results will be releasing next Thursday, followed by polytechnic application when school reopens I suppose, and I really couldn't help worrying. My greatest wish is to get in to polytechnic and I believe those who knows me very well will know about this. I'm really worried my results and application to the polytechnic might get jeopardised because of this matter.

Thanks dear and sister-in-law for being by my side all these while. Dear especially. I'm really sorry to have made you worried these days. And dear, I'm afraid we won't get to celebrate on that day.. =(

And this is a day of reminiscencing! =D


I'm really afraid of being alone at home. And I must be extra cautious with my keys, too. Argh. Is that how one should behave at home?

Labels: 01.08.2008, Babylon2, CD, Hurt, Reminiscence, Stressed, Troubled

Labels: Troubled