Well, I've no wish to reminisce this time round, after so many things had happened.

I just want to blog the past away in this last post for the year. Yep, blog all the unhappiness away and stop tormenting myself anymore with the coming of a new year. A new year indeed. Year 2010 will be my rebirth. Not wanting to pinpoint or whatsoever, what I blogged about in this post are what that's been in my heart all these while.

Anxiously wanting to get rid of my phone to erase every bits and pieces of our memories. But still, messages from you today just defeat my purpose of switching to another phone.

This year is a nightmare. Tears, suffering, everything. They're way more than happiness. Who can I trust still? I could no longer distinguish between facts and lies.  Promises, are meant to be broken afterall. I've lost faith and confidence in everything. Love, is just not for me.

Get over it? It's easier said than done. I don't know how long I'll need to recuperate. Once a person has changed, he has changed. Totally. Period. I'll never be that foolish, stupid, etc, anymore.

Second sister-in-law once told me, never put in too much in a relationship. She's so right.

I shouldn't have agreed to this relationship in the first place. I should be more persistent. If only I heeded Mum's advice last September, I wouldn't be in such misery. Obstacles were cleared, yet we still return to square one.

Thinking back, I've actually never really felt a tinge of happiness for the year. All those are but eluding myself. Thanks for bringing me back to my senses.

I guess I'm really eluded by the surroundings, by the so-called "love". Mum was so right about our relationship. I should have listened to Mum in the very first place, shouldn't I? Second sister-in-law had been my confidante throughout this relationship. She's been very supportive of me no matter what my decision was, and I'm really glad and thankful for this. She, at one point, had talked me into giving a serious reconsideration in this relationship. However, like I said, I was just being eluded by circumstances into thinking that happiness was really there for me and hence gave up that thought. I admit I really did thought of it, but I just couldn't bear to give it up. Now, my stupidity had really got me all wrong, taking me to all sorts of sufferings.

The break-up had lead to me losing sleep, sleeping barely 2-3 hours per day. When I first talked to sister-in-law regarding my loss of sleep, she thought I was being overly-stressed by schoolwork, when only I know the truth behind it myself. That was before she got to know what happened. Then, came one day and I was being stressed up and cooped up with lots of problems. Sister-in-law came home and actually wanted to talk to me about something else. I thought I was strong enough to hang on, until I broke down finally.

This time, I really broke down. Second time within three days. I coughed up everything to sister-in-law. I'm really glad that she's there. Her care and concern had really touched me. Thanks so much for being there! And without sister-in-law, I don't know when the ice between younger brother and I will break.

And somehow after that matter, no one in my family spoke a word about him. I guess, it's either sister-in-law told them or younger brother peeped into my blog. But anyhow, I'm really glad to have such a family. I guess they knew about it quite some time ago already, but didn't spoke a word about it knowing that I'll get upset.

I admit I do get upset still. The hurt, will be there forever. Love hurts, how true it is. You won't know how much you've hurt me. I've said I wanna put behind everything after this post. But frankly speaking, am I really able to do that? I seriously doubt myself. It's gonna take time I know. This path is very long. But I know I won't be alone. My dear friends out there will be with me, right?

My dear friends, don't think I've forgotten you girls just because I didn't mention you girls infront. I'm really glad to have friends like three of you. I really value and treasure our friendship. While we're at this, I would like to thank Mei Bao and Pei Er. You girls know what you did. And I'm really grateful. You girls made me realise what true friends really are. Thanks so much for being with me all these while, especially that day where both of you travelled all the way to school to look for me. Of course, not forgetting Yan Ling. I know you cared. Thanks for the message!

The drama "The Seventh Day" is having a repeat telecast on CableTV. And I realised there's quite a handful of quotes, of which, certain ones really depicts how I'm feeling.

` 当上天把所有的门都关了的时候，必然会为你打开一扇窗！只要坚持，始终还是能找到这扇窗的！

` 上帝创造天地万物,做了七天时间,他将最美丽的事物,都放在世人的面前,所以人生在世,无论你经历过什么,只要你懂得珍惜,一切都可以是最美好的。

` 生命中，不断地有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是，看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记住了。 然而，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在？记住的，是不是永远不会消失？

` 每个人的缘份就在一念之间，错过了就再也不会来了。一次偶遇，一次小小的巧合，都是注定的。属于你的即使外界干扰的力量如何强大，心灵之间的感应也会彼此相同。身处何地，都会不期而遇。

` 人生就好像是摇摇板，你掉到最低的时候，就是你反弹高升的时候，当你要升起的时候，就会忘记之前的失落，可是，你对面的人呢？当一个升高的时候，另外一个就要从高处滑下来，两个人的命运就是这样交替着，人生就是这么起起落落。

` 有时候命运是很奇妙的，你以为要碰灰的时候呢，老天就会给你个惊喜。

` 昨天的错，换来今天的难过，今天的我，悔恨当初做错，难道今天的我，再认错已是太傻。

` 最美丽的第七天，第七天是短暂的，但却是最美丽的。一对恋人，无论是能够朝夕相对，还是相隔万里，珍惜在一起的每一分钟，过了的便好好回味，未尝不是一种美。生活中也是一样，没有什么是十全十美的，用心去发现，好好享受那一刻，记住最美丽的瞬间，你已得到很多。

` 黑夜的每个角落，都充斥著他的身影，弥漫著他的气味，残留著他的笑声，他与她的感觉渐渐失去……虽然失去了，至少你曾经拥有，和他一起笑著走过的一段路！
Perhaps, this is how I want to end everything.

` 无论你经历过什么，只要你懂得珍惜，一切都可以是最美好的！

This is a really meaningful show. It really trigggers one's thoughts on life, relationship and friends.

生活是很奇妙的，生命是很脆弱的，下一秒你不知道会发生什么事情，可能失去，可能错过，可能后悔。我们要做的就是好好的珍惜身边的人，好好把握时间，好好的完成自己想要做的事。

From now on, I'll be persistent and stand by my principles. I won't succumb to persuasion anymore.

Thanks for letting go of me. Your letting go had made me gain back alot. I once thought I've lost my friends, but it's not until after what I've gone though that, my friends are back with me. (I know they're always with me) This has made me treasured this friendship even more. And just like how I always said, that, family is priority, and friends are number two. Besides that, I've managed to put all concentration on my studies. I can see my effort in everything I do this semester. And perhaps, it's a relief to me, that, I no longer have to get stressed over our relationship in my family.

2009, is definitely not a year I'd wanna remember.

Will 2010 be a better year for me? I hope it will.

Labels: Friends, Memories, Past, Quotes, Thoughts, Treasure