07 July 2012

So I was saying the other day about how happy I was this day. Hee.

Well, to start off..

I went for hair treatment with YL at Artica Hair Studio. We were asked to take a seat first, as the hair stylists were busy at the moment. I got attended to within a short while. Guess what, Juno did the hair for me! Was really happy at that moment. Hehe. Been hearing raves about how skillful he is, but didn't expect him to do my hair since I only purchased a cheap deal. Nevertheless, it was all worthwhile, though it was just for a short while. But hey, the raves about Juno is not for nothing. Well, at least I managed to experience a tad bit myself. Juno actually massaged my head during hair wash. Boy, that was really soothing and relaxing. *thumbs up* :)

However, one downside is that, he's just too cool - don't talk much; and his smiles were stingy. Err okay, not saying that it's not good. Hmm, or probably all Creative Directors are like that? Hah. Well, anything - that don't bother me much because his skills are just too awesome! :)

Then, I was attended to by another guy after the first step of the hair treatment as Juno's customer came. Think he's the most junior in AHS. He's a cute guy please. lol. I was concentrating on my phone that I did not noticed YL's talking to me. So this hair stylist (HS; a.k.a. handsome :P) actually asked if YL wants any drink, then YL asked me as well. Shortly after, before the HS went to get the drink for YL, he came and spoke on my ears, asking again if I want any drink. Cute rightttt? lol. Okay, I guess he did that because I told YL she was speaking too soft earlier on. >.<

(okay, that was not all. I'm gonna continue further since I don't have a good memory and I doubt I'll be able to see him again)

This HS was a very gentle, soft-spoken guy. Such that, YL suspects he might be.. *ahem*. Ehhh YL, please.. He's sucha handsome guy, he's definitely straight please. :( One downside though - he's got tattoo on his hand. :( Anyway, besides the above, I must say he's a very caring person, and definitely spot-on when it comes to choosing magazines for the customers. Yep, contrary to what Juno passed me (Her World), HS actually passed me the ViVi magazine! I browsed through just a few pages and I'm getting bored, but I had to force myself to continue reading it because there's nothing else for me to do. However, after HS passed me ViVi, I was so engrossed that I finished the whole book, and at the same time totally ignored the presence of YL. lol. I almost wanted to ask if I could bring home the magazine. :P

At times, I wanted to peek at the HS, but am too shy to do so. What if he thought I'm interested in him (which, ya, I really am =X)? lol. =X

Well well.. To sum up my first experience at AHS, I must say it was great. Yes, I must emphasize once again that, I'm merely a cheap deal voucher user, so I definitely won't expect such good service by them. :) And yes, Juno was great, and the HS was even better (well, to me, he is). The HS is a very meticulous person and have an eye for details (customers' preference, I mean). Very very good service by him. :) Couldn't comment much on my haircut though, because I thought my hair was still rather short, so I merely asked for a trim. As for the hair treatment, yes, although as usual, my hair seemed dry after hair treatments, but my hair did become less frizzy. By the way, the HS guessed correctly - I've never dyed my hair before, because my hair looks very black. He even gave advice on the colour-type should I decide to dye my hair one day. But I forgot which is it.. is it light colour? Damn, how could I.. forget the HS' words? Sad much. :(

Yes, I'll definitely go back AHS again - but only if YL wants to go with me, without any deal. ^_^

----------------------------------------------
Okay, so that was my experience at AHS.

I've got another great encounter on this day too..

So YL and I were strolling around Orchard after our hair treatment at Far East Plaza. Walk and walk, and here we are at Cineleisure. I was actually looking for washroom, but couldn't find any on the first level. Then, I happened to saw some stalls at the back door (I think) of Cineleisure. Decided to kaypoh abit, so delayed my trip to the washroom first (lol). So that was the flea market that everyone's been talking about all these while. Didn't know that was Scape (or something) until YL told me. Actually I did wonder if that was Scape, but all along I thought Scape was in the other side, that's why I couldn't confirm until YL told me. Well, I actually hate Scape. That's why when I know it's Scape, I wanted to give it a miss.

That was a very hurtful place for me alright. Reason? It has got to do with that jerk, if you wanna know. Okay, I've no intention to elaborate any further on this. I just feel disgusted the mention of him.

Anyway, walk and walk, and we entered the mall beside it. Walked in, head looked to the right, and "EH! HE LOOKS KIND OF FAMILIAR, HUH? ISN'T THAT LEE TENG? OMG!!" lolx. Yes, it's really Lee Teng the Channel 8 host. Omg!! Damn happy can! He's the first artistes I've met other than Yoga Lin! He's so handsome cannn!! I saw someone taking photos with him and I swear I wanted to ask if I can, too. I really wanted to!! However, my level of courage is freaking low. Which is why I haven't even seen my dear Romeo Tan in person after so long! Okay, I'm filled with mixed emotions at the same time. :(

Welllllll.. With these, 07 July 2012 definitely marks a special day in my life! :)

❤❤❤

Labels: Hair, HS, Loves, Memories, Overjoyed, Unforgettable day

Alrighty. I'm back to continue my final post for 2011. So how's 2011 for me? Lots of ups and downs I'd say. And it all start right from the beginning of the year.

January

Just a week before Uncle Peter passed away, on 10 January, I was out with Mum and brother to shop for CNY stuffs when we received a phone call from Uncle Peter's buddy, Uncle Koh. He told us that Uncle Peter wants to give up fighting already, and wants us to give the go ahead for him. Of course, we weren't agreeable to it. And he seemed to have given up the thought a few days later. However, his condition turned for the worse during this period. Fever not being able to subside and internal blessings occurred. Breathing became very difficult for him and at times we were very afraid he'll be leaving us. I'm really afraid of receiving phone calls from brother when I was in school. Because a phone call spells bad signs.

We were all taking turns taking care and staying by Uncle's side from Friday to Sunday during that week. Breathing worsen many times but Uncle seemed to breeze through. Worsen again just before we left the hospital on Sunday night. However was alright after some time. For the very first time, I didn't mute my phone because I was really afraid Uncle might not survive through. All the way till I woke up for school, no phone calls from 3rd uncle who was accompanying him at the hospital. So I thought, no news = good news. Had planned to accompany him after my lesson on Monday. Then at 8.45am, Mum phoned and told me what I had planned too. At 9.10am, another phone call. This time, it was brother. He told me to get to the hospital. I thought I could still see Uncle Peter. But he last breathed at 9.19am, when I was hailing a cab. I couldn't assure him in time that he need not worry about grandma - the person he worries most. No promises could be made. And this really saddens me. Nothing could describe how I'm feeling. Even till now, it still aches me bitterly. Never in my life have I cried so terribly, not even when Uncle Mao passed away three years ago. 17 January 2011. That was the worst day of my life. This is definitely a very big blow to me.

My only regrets are not visiting you him often enough, and not giving him the assurance that I wanted to. :( Till now, I still can't accept the fact that he's left us. I really don't understand why such thing had to happen to such a great person like him. I really don't understand.

Dedicated a post to Uncle Peter on Facebook the night before we send him on his last journey. And that was when I 'sort of' return to Facebook.

But grandma's been well during the period of Uncle Peter's absence. I know for sure, Uncle's been looking after grandma up there. Right, Uncle Peter? :)

Oh yea, I did managed to fulfill something though. I've finally brought grandma out for exercise last Saturday. Though only once for the whole of 2011, but it's still better than none, right? =x

真的好想你。

-----------------------
Posted about the heartbreak as well, and seeking forgiveness from the besties about my MIA. I suppose my family really did somehow found out about our patch. Heard from brother that it's also due to this that Uncle don't feel safe to leave what he's left with, with me. Hmm.. even Uncle also knows that jerk's unreliable, and is likely to con me of my stuffs. Well done, Uncle! But your niece's ain't stupid, hor. ;)

-----------------------
March

Went Taiwan for a holiday, like finally. This trip definitely came at a time no better than this. Following the heartbreak, Uncle Peter passing away, as well as the stress over studies, this getaway is definitely a very much needed one. Oh, and this is the first oversea trip after like nine years?! Excited to the max can! ^_^

It was a 10-day trip to Taiwan and mind you, Taiwan's a really great place to visit! Totally fell in love with Taiwan and can't wait to go again! ^_^ Oh yea, did I mention seeing some handsomes over there? My xiao wei and alishan~~ Ahhhh!! Wonder if I can still get to see them when I travel next year. But luck's not with me, because my camera, or rather, the SD card died on me on the second or third day. I didn't know at all, and continued snapping around. Came back and checked the photos, could only retrieve a lil portion of it. Damn sad-ed, you know? Moreover, my alishan's gone too! Sad to the infinity can! I not only snapped pictures of him, but I also took a video of him singing. Like, what the hell! :'(

Luggage overloaded. Could be because it's my first trip there - lotsa things to buy. lol. So lesson learnt - I'm opting for 30kg for the trip next year. I'd rather pay a lil more for now, than paying so much more should I really exceeded the limit.

-----------------------
April

Met up with the besties, like finally. We met on April Fool's, did we? A lil awkward too, because I haven't met them for so long. And I feel really bad for MIA-ing. Sorry gals. I'm really thankful that they didn't give up this friendship. <3 Anyway, it's bowling session that day. It's my first time too.

-----------------------
July

Got back the Common Test results and I'm really disappointed in myself. I failed Managerial Accounting module, not by 1 or 2 marks, but by a relatively big margin. Made a grave mistake and it cost me dearly. Was so disappointed that I 'blamed' my ancestors for not blessing me no matter how sincere I am. And thus followed by blaming them for not blessing Uncle Peter when he's even more sincere than I am, and a very much better, filial person than I am. I know I shouldn't do that, but I just can't help myself, especially after Uncle Peter was rewarded leukemia with sincerity. I'm so sorry, ancestors. But now I know why they don't bless me. Mum just told me the other day that my grandfather didn't used to like me when he was still around. He was more of the traditional type - favours boys over girls. So, that probably explains why? Hmm.. But I'm glad grandma's not like my grandfather. I heard she loves girls. No wonder she dotes on me so much. And even till now, she's always looking for me. Like, there was once when I got home late and she didn't sleep because of that. x_x I'm still like a lil girl to her. She's always asking me to eat when it's dinner time, like so afraid I'll go hungry. Haa. Grandma, I love you. <3

Anyway, even till now, it still pricks me whenever I heard of people getting leukemia. It'll just remind me of Uncle Peter.. The suffering he'd gone through.. The life taken away. Why, why such a healthy person like him had to suffer this? But I thank God for not taking Uncle Peter away from us so fast. He managed to survived through a period of seven months, when the doctor had estimated a period of two to three months.

-----------------------
Another thing. I went for a concert for the very first time of my life! Like, WOW! It's the Korean Music Wave 2011 and I'm so amazed. All thanks to my cousin, who came for a holiday with 3rd aunt and and her brother. My cousin's a truly Korean-craze. Haa. And it so happened that this concert falls within the period they're here. She wants to go so badly, and aunt got me to accompany her.

Actually I'm not that keen in going, because the concert so happened to fall on the same day as Aaron Yan's autograph session at IMM. However, she won't be able to go if I don't agree. So yep. Was really disappointed that I couldn't attend Aaron Yan's thought. :( But anyway, the concert was an experience for me, allowing me to see so many bands at one go, like U-Kiss, FT Island and the likes like Big Bang and 2NE1. Okay, I admit I'm really afraid Big Bang might sing a song, but thank goodness, guess that song was quite some time ago, so they didn't sang it afterall.

Thanks, cousin. You made it possible for my first. :)

-----------------------
August

This final semester before the internship was really hectic. Totally no life, I'd say. Imagine coming home from school everyday, bathed and had dinner, then up next - sit infront of laptop to do projects. Well, that's been my life for the past six months of the semester. And when I said 'everyday', it's really everyday. Sometimes I really wonder why in the world did I put in hell lotsa effort, when the rest only put in so little, and gotten the same reward. Hard work definitely don't pay off. And this applies to friendship as well. Polytechnic friends to me, are just hi-bye friends. They aren't, and don't make good confidante. And if unlucky, you'll end up being a tool to them. That's my case, probably?

The way they, or rather, she treat me. And she still dare to say I'll surely be MIA after graduation. Hello? You don't know me well definitely. Family, to me, comes first. And friends' up next. Alright? I do cherish friendship alot. And they way you treat me really makes me feel like MIA-ing, too. So what, if I appears during the meet out? I'll always be the one who's being leftout, no matter what. And so what, when I'm always the one giving? You approached me for help, I'll always give all out. Yes, I do, no matter you're close to me or not. But end up? It's just fruitless. Would you appreciate it? No. Well, I guess no matter what I do, the treatment will still be different between us. If so, why don't you jolly well get her to help and just leave me alone?

Everytime I suggested / planned something, you'll disagree. But when 'she' suggested, you'll agree straight. Well, if you don't like my suggestions, then jolly well tell me. Asked me for suggestions, and when I suggest, you don't wanna take it. What do you take me for? Leaving me out is already good enough. And you still had to treat me this way. Oh, and I'm sorry, I seriously don't like the idea of 'her' going Taiwan with us.

I'm sorry, but this ain't the friendship I'd hoped for. Friendship to me, is all about being able to laugh and joke around together. I didn't want to elaborate so much actually, but I just needed a gateway to pour everything out. And my blog, is the best way to do so.

-----------------------
September

Start of internship. Got into this company very unexpectedly. Was given the option to choose the companies and field that we wanna enter into. However, this company wasn't in the list. Was told that this company actually sent in the application late, hence the omission. I was thinking, since there weren't any company that interests me, I decided to choose the ones with very high pay, so there won't be a chance of me getting in. lol. Then, as expected, out of the six choices given, I did not get into any of it. The in-charge then allocate IRAS to me. However, she phoned me a week later and told me there's openings for this company and asked if I wanna take up the offer. I was like, WOW. Reason being, this company has been the one that I've been wanting to get in since Secondary 4. That was the first accounting firm that I heard of, which probably explains why the feeling for the firm.

So talking about the internship, I didn't learn much actually. Or should I say, it's too complex for me. This department's not what I wanted to enter. However, am glad that the seniors are all nice people. The executive's director a Dutch. Very, very nice and friendly person. :) However, he'll be leaving the company soon. :(

-----------------------
October

"Quarreled" with one of the poly mates over the Taiwan trip. Thankfully, all's solved. Also went to my very first Dinner & Dance. But not able to wear nice nice though, because my seniors decided to follow the theme. :(

-----------------------
November

Am showing signs of happiness. Somehow. My days will just be brightened up the moment I saw him. However, the timing seemed to have messed up totally and I could no longer see him. I don't like this feeling really. :( Why in the first place gave me the chance of seeing him, yet take back after awhile? I'd really rather I don't see him at all in the first place. No hope = no disappointments. And now, just because of that short period, I'm always so looking forward to seeing him, but ended up in disappointments and disappointments in the past month. And I suppose, there won't be a next again. Sighs. Such things always happen to me, no?

-----------------------
December

Went for marathon like finally. Conquered 10km for the timing of 1:23:41. Glad to have achieved such good result, which was also below my target of 1 hour 30 minutes. Also surpassed my 2007 result by an hour. :) And by the way, Mum was so cute can! She told me to keep the running singlet as a "souvenir" and not use it, because it's unique due to the different design every year. lol.

Bought the camera at last. Not DSLR though, due to some issues. Second time back to that place to purchase the camera after September. Actually I'm already numb, but somehow upon reaching, and saw the familiar places, I teared suddenly. Told sis-in-law about it, but well. All I wanted to say is, not everyone take the same time to recover.

-----------------------
Well, to sum-up everything. I'm really glad he's off my mind at last. Yeah, sort of. Should say, I'm already numb (no feelings) to his name. But his name and that place irks me still. And I'm still on the road to recovery. Hopefully by the time the future one comes, I'll be able to visit those places I detests with him happily.

For those who said this to me, "it's so long already. don't think about him can already." Well, as mentioned earlier, the period of recovery differs. One thing I'd like to say - I did not think of him. Everything just occurred naturally. As an emotional person and one who puts too much feeling into the relationship, if I say it doesn't pricks, I'd be lying. I think I'm already showing good progress to have come thus far. Perhaps for you, your recovery is fast. But hey, that doesn't mean everyone's the same as you. I hope you get what I mean.

Labels: 17.01.2011, Concert, Disappointed, Emo, Family, Feelings, Friends, HS, Internship, Marathon, Memories, New Year, Promise, Reflection, Regrets, Sigh, Stressed, Studies

Well..! It's just a couple of hours away from a brand new year. Realised there're quite a couple of non-updated stuffs hanging over. Alrights, I'm gonna blog them one and for all. Don't wanna leave anything behind in 2011. :)

Photos in this post, and year-end review in the next. :)

Had this petite-sized mee for my dinner with sis-in-law when we went to catch Edward. Sis-in-law had actually warned me beforehand if I wanna get more stuffs. But even then, I seriously didn't expect it to be so petite in size! I was like, "wow, this for dinner?". lol.


Saw this Christmas tree on our way to Marina Bay Sands to collect our marathon run pack. Further, snapped this on our way there as well. The journey to MBS was an enjoyment. Didn't know it's so beautiful at night time. Definitely a great place for chilling and dating. Heh heh.


The crowd during the closed race entry pack collection. We'll be back! :D


It's my first Aston's after sooo long! Had this near my work place. Yum yum!

My second set of BB cream. :)


Oh, and I almost forgot about this 'Cure' thingy that I bought more than a year ago. Man, I feel I've got so many skincare products all of a sudden. Like unfinishable. lol.

Some snapshots on the last day of the original Jurong East Bus Interchange. It's gonna go under some modifications projects. :( Felt really sad when I got the news about this. Afterall, I've been using the interchange for so long, and this is especially so since the internship starts. Lotsa memories over there. Such strong feelings. :( Very very strong feelings too, during my internship period. (messy + repetitive photos. Shall do up a nice one tomorrow.)






Elephant-durian. It's sooo cute can?! Took this from ORQ South Tower. Really can't stand its cuteness and I went in to snap this specifically. :D


Pineapple cookies. :) My first bake since last September. Glad that my skills are still up-to-standard.


'So tzai' one'. Haha. Thought this phrase was cute. And so decided to snap it.

New sports shoes. :) No choice, had to get a new pair because the rubber thingy at the outer-bottom of the previous pair came off. :( Was contemplating between the asics and New Balance ones. Irritating brother went on to complain about me taking such a long time to decide between two pairs of the sports shoes. Eh hello. It was a tough choice okay. I'm looking for a good and comfortable pair for long-term usage. But on the other hand, the other pair is more gel-cushioned - more comfy, but of course, comes with a 'good' price as well. A difference of $50. Definitely a tough choice okay. I know you're rich. Can just splash the money away without much thinking. Sorry, but I can't. I don't wanna waste money, thus I'll usually tend to think further ahead. But anyway, epic phail can. Referring to brother. Because he got shot back by his friend. Muahahaha! :))


Ferrari bag from Shell. Dad's really sweet. *touched* The moment he knows he can get a free Ferrari bag from Shell (after spending a certain amount), he asked if I wants it. Thanks, Dad. <3 Together with the bag, Dad also went to get the desk calendar from the printing shop (as requested by me). Heh heh. So nice of him. :D



Alrighty. Guess those should be blogged, are blogged.

And it's the time of the year again. Shall do some year-end sum-up and reviews at the next post.

Kind of a messy post. Didn't have time to consolidate the photos properly. Shall do that when I have the time to do so.

Labels: Food, Loves, Marathon, Memories, New Year, Photos, Reflection, Skincare

An-nyeong!

Been out like almost everyday this week. And just yesterday, outing with the poly mates. It's the third time already, I think. Glad that we're all making an effort to meet out. :) Anyway, our destination's East Coast Park for cycling.

It was sucha fearful start for me can. :( I'd last cycled when I was in primary school. That was like 12-13 years ago already. After sucha long period, I'm finally cycling again. Well, basically everyone knows how to cycle. And for me, I started out rather clumsily, losing balance and kept fearing I might fall. Thank goodness, I've the company of YL and YS, who, are my bodyguards walking by my side as I tried cycling. lol. Thanks girls, for being so patient. >_<

So, I finally managed to keep balance after 10 minutes I guess? Haa. =X I had on several occasions, almost fell. But thankfully, I didn't. No choice, skills' too rusty already. lol.

That was the first time I cycled there. 4 hours' ride, including resting period. That was a good experience actually. ^_^ Guess I got back the feel the more I cycled, which explains why the 4 hours ain't enough for me. I'm so hunger for more! >_<

Apart from cycling, I realised I'm actually falling in love with the nature each time I get close to them. It's so peaceful to be by the seaside. ❤ the sea breeze. And yea, the sky as well. I'll make sure I capture the egg yolk better when I visit Taiwan again next year!

Oh well, on a side note. I seriously have no idea what I'm doing. I was enjoying myself but can't help thinking about that jerk all the time. Argh. Seriously hate this. He just keep popping into my mind. Hello? You've left, so why can't you leave for good? Why must you still stay in my mind? I didn't want to think of him at all, but East Coast Park has our footprints in it. Furthermore, when returning to Parkway Parade for dinner, we walked the EXACT same route to that bus-stop. Argh. I was totally like.. what the hell. -_-

I really feel I have the need to emigrate, else everywhere I go, it'll just rekindle the memories. But let me emphasise, by saying that, there's no special or hidden meaning. No feelings, whatsoever. I no longer feel for you; it's just that I've totally no wish to be reminded of a jerk. Simple as that. Well, only jerks forget these things very fast. Yes, I mean VERY FAST. Period.

Labels: Memories, Outing

*deep sigh*

Ever since that day, I've been dreading drama / movie scenes with characters on their deathbed. The very moment such scenes was telecasted on the television, I'll be automatically brought back to that day where I rushed to hospital, only hear the "toooooo..." sound from the machine, seeing you lying on bed helplessly. Till now, I'm still unable to stop my memories from returning back to that day whenever I heard the "toooooo..." sound.. I guess the demise of you just hit me too much. Even when I was enjoying myself in Taiwan, you never fail to leave my mind.. Many things just reminded me of you; like the cuttlefish which I bought.. Just when I was counting the number of packets to buy, you keep running on my mind.. Cos I know you'll love it if you're still around.

I, too, am still regretting up till now, that I couldn't stay by your side till your last breath.. The day before you passed away, upon knowing that you're afraid and thus would need someone by your side, I had actually planned to visit you right after school the following day.. However, knowing the condition that you're in after we got home that night, I should have skipped my lesson to accompany you.. But I didn't.. I was thinking about it again while on the way to school. However, I still go ahead (to school) because the "no news equal good news" thoughts were all around my mind. That was the only night I had my phone without mute because I'm really worried that something might happen.. Up till I leave home for school, there's no update on your condition, thus I thought your condition was stabalised already. That was why I decided to go ahead with my plan, that is, to visit you after my lesson ends. I really blame myself.. At such point in time, I should've place family before school. I should've really skipped school and accompany you, but I didn't.. I know your biggest worry was grandma.. If I had visited you earlier, I could have assured you that grandma will be well taken care of.. But... Sigh.. It's all "ifs"...

Uncle Peter, I'm so missing you... =(

Hope you won't have to suffer these anymore in the other world.

These has been weighing in my heart since the day you left us.. I've never told anyone about this.. Hopefully with the blogging of this, the load will be lifted a lil.

With the blogging of this, it's time to stop your tears and be brave, gal!

Labels: 17.01.2011, Family, Memories, Regrets

Well, I've no wish to reminisce this time round, after so many things had happened.

I just want to blog the past away in this last post for the year. Yep, blog all the unhappiness away and stop tormenting myself anymore with the coming of a new year. A new year indeed. Year 2010 will be my rebirth. Not wanting to pinpoint or whatsoever, what I blogged about in this post are what that's been in my heart all these while.

Anxiously wanting to get rid of my phone to erase every bits and pieces of our memories. But still, messages from you today just defeat my purpose of switching to another phone.

This year is a nightmare. Tears, suffering, everything. They're way more than happiness. Who can I trust still? I could no longer distinguish between facts and lies.  Promises, are meant to be broken afterall. I've lost faith and confidence in everything. Love, is just not for me.

Get over it? It's easier said than done. I don't know how long I'll need to recuperate. Once a person has changed, he has changed. Totally. Period. I'll never be that foolish, stupid, etc, anymore.

Second sister-in-law once told me, never put in too much in a relationship. She's so right.

I shouldn't have agreed to this relationship in the first place. I should be more persistent. If only I heeded Mum's advice last September, I wouldn't be in such misery. Obstacles were cleared, yet we still return to square one.

Thinking back, I've actually never really felt a tinge of happiness for the year. All those are but eluding myself. Thanks for bringing me back to my senses.

I guess I'm really eluded by the surroundings, by the so-called "love". Mum was so right about our relationship. I should have listened to Mum in the very first place, shouldn't I? Second sister-in-law had been my confidante throughout this relationship. She's been very supportive of me no matter what my decision was, and I'm really glad and thankful for this. She, at one point, had talked me into giving a serious reconsideration in this relationship. However, like I said, I was just being eluded by circumstances into thinking that happiness was really there for me and hence gave up that thought. I admit I really did thought of it, but I just couldn't bear to give it up. Now, my stupidity had really got me all wrong, taking me to all sorts of sufferings.

The break-up had lead to me losing sleep, sleeping barely 2-3 hours per day. When I first talked to sister-in-law regarding my loss of sleep, she thought I was being overly-stressed by schoolwork, when only I know the truth behind it myself. That was before she got to know what happened. Then, came one day and I was being stressed up and cooped up with lots of problems. Sister-in-law came home and actually wanted to talk to me about something else. I thought I was strong enough to hang on, until I broke down finally.

This time, I really broke down. Second time within three days. I coughed up everything to sister-in-law. I'm really glad that she's there. Her care and concern had really touched me. Thanks so much for being there! And without sister-in-law, I don't know when the ice between younger brother and I will break.

And somehow after that matter, no one in my family spoke a word about him. I guess, it's either sister-in-law told them or younger brother peeped into my blog. But anyhow, I'm really glad to have such a family. I guess they knew about it quite some time ago already, but didn't spoke a word about it knowing that I'll get upset.

I admit I do get upset still. The hurt, will be there forever. Love hurts, how true it is. You won't know how much you've hurt me. I've said I wanna put behind everything after this post. But frankly speaking, am I really able to do that? I seriously doubt myself. It's gonna take time I know. This path is very long. But I know I won't be alone. My dear friends out there will be with me, right?

My dear friends, don't think I've forgotten you girls just because I didn't mention you girls infront. I'm really glad to have friends like three of you. I really value and treasure our friendship. While we're at this, I would like to thank Mei Bao and Pei Er. You girls know what you did. And I'm really grateful. You girls made me realise what true friends really are. Thanks so much for being with me all these while, especially that day where both of you travelled all the way to school to look for me. Of course, not forgetting Yan Ling. I know you cared. Thanks for the message!

The drama "The Seventh Day" is having a repeat telecast on CableTV. And I realised there's quite a handful of quotes, of which, certain ones really depicts how I'm feeling.

` 当上天把所有的门都关了的时候，必然会为你打开一扇窗！只要坚持，始终还是能找到这扇窗的！

` 上帝创造天地万物,做了七天时间,他将最美丽的事物,都放在世人的面前,所以人生在世,无论你经历过什么,只要你懂得珍惜,一切都可以是最美好的。

` 生命中，不断地有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是，看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记住了。 然而，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在？记住的，是不是永远不会消失？

` 每个人的缘份就在一念之间，错过了就再也不会来了。一次偶遇，一次小小的巧合，都是注定的。属于你的即使外界干扰的力量如何强大，心灵之间的感应也会彼此相同。身处何地，都会不期而遇。

` 人生就好像是摇摇板，你掉到最低的时候，就是你反弹高升的时候，当你要升起的时候，就会忘记之前的失落，可是，你对面的人呢？当一个升高的时候，另外一个就要从高处滑下来，两个人的命运就是这样交替着，人生就是这么起起落落。

` 有时候命运是很奇妙的，你以为要碰灰的时候呢，老天就会给你个惊喜。

` 昨天的错，换来今天的难过，今天的我，悔恨当初做错，难道今天的我，再认错已是太傻。

` 最美丽的第七天，第七天是短暂的，但却是最美丽的。一对恋人，无论是能够朝夕相对，还是相隔万里，珍惜在一起的每一分钟，过了的便好好回味，未尝不是一种美。生活中也是一样，没有什么是十全十美的，用心去发现，好好享受那一刻，记住最美丽的瞬间，你已得到很多。

` 黑夜的每个角落，都充斥著他的身影，弥漫著他的气味，残留著他的笑声，他与她的感觉渐渐失去……虽然失去了，至少你曾经拥有，和他一起笑著走过的一段路！
Perhaps, this is how I want to end everything.

` 无论你经历过什么，只要你懂得珍惜，一切都可以是最美好的！

This is a really meaningful show. It really trigggers one's thoughts on life, relationship and friends.

生活是很奇妙的，生命是很脆弱的，下一秒你不知道会发生什么事情，可能失去，可能错过，可能后悔。我们要做的就是好好的珍惜身边的人，好好把握时间，好好的完成自己想要做的事。

From now on, I'll be persistent and stand by my principles. I won't succumb to persuasion anymore.

Thanks for letting go of me. Your letting go had made me gain back alot. I once thought I've lost my friends, but it's not until after what I've gone though that, my friends are back with me. (I know they're always with me) This has made me treasured this friendship even more. And just like how I always said, that, family is priority, and friends are number two. Besides that, I've managed to put all concentration on my studies. I can see my effort in everything I do this semester. And perhaps, it's a relief to me, that, I no longer have to get stressed over our relationship in my family.

2009, is definitely not a year I'd wanna remember.

Will 2010 be a better year for me? I hope it will.

Labels: Friends, Memories, Past, Quotes, Thoughts, Treasure

Attended 5N1's gathering yesterday, like finally. It's been ages since I last met my mates. More than three years, I think? To put it simply, I miss them loads. x3

Received an SMS from Desiree on Saturday, informing about the dinner on Sunday. That was a last minute decision, I think. So anyway, I had second thoughts on turning up again since I knew Shu Fen won't be going. No one else close to me would, too. But I turned up eventually as the guys are enlisting soon. I've no idea when the next gathering will be, too. So, yup. And seriously, I'm now so looking forward to the next gathering.

I had initially thought I would be sitting there quietly. I was wrong. Hehs. I'm just so glad that I've got common topics with two of my mates - Kee Ching and Desiree. Both Desiree and I are avid supporters of England football team. Yay! Beckham's her love okay. Hahas. But she didn't know who Stevie is. =\ And Kee Ching had gone through what I'm going through now. Thanks to the common topics, we had much to chat. Hahas. I hope they don't find me a nuisance. =X

Kee Ching, we've come so far all because we want to realise our dream. Things may seem harder and harder as it goes along, but we must persevere, alright? We'll jia you together, okay? =) (ps. I don't know if she'll visit this blog though)

Thought that he ain't coming, but he did. Sighs. I'm so having mixed feelings now. =(

I had visited Cynthia's blog earlier on. This is as quoted from her latest entry - " 失去了才懂得珍惜 ". Memories just flew back. And I nearly cried lah. =(
PS. This ain't in any way related to the gathering.

Labels: 26/03/2008, Gathering, Memories, Overjoyed

26th April

It's been a month since you left..
I remember...

you used to care and dote on me;
you used to joke around with us;
you used to curse my favourite team, Liverpool FC, of losing this-and-that match;
you used to joke about the football players, like Torres, Gerrard, C.Ronaldo;
you used to antagonise me by discussing about Liverpool whenever they lost a match;
you used to place The New Paper at my window whenever Liverpool lost;
you used to place The New Paper at my window whenever Liverpool won an important match;
you asked me last year if I wanted Liverpool's Euro Away Shirt, as your friend works in adidas factory;

you used to buy me my favourite food - chicken wings - when you passed by pasar malam ocassionally;
you brought me to CD store at Jurong Point after my tuition lesson when I was still a primary six girl, to buy Daniel Chan's album - 风一样的男子 - after knowing that I like his songs;
you used to antagonise me with Nicholas Tse, too;
you used to bring brothers and I around when we were still young;
you got me a necklace when you striked lottery years ago;
you got me a costume in China, and I wore it immediately without even washing it, to pose for a picture;

you got me takoyaki and a honeyed chicken wing on the day we did spring cleaning this year. That was the last time you did that;

you looked for the most bargained PSP when you know brother and I were looking for one, and we had to disappoint you when we changed our decision to buy at the store that eldest brother had bought his;
you so willingly brought brother and I to buy PSP on 14 March 2008, when you actually doesn't have to;

you drove granduncles, grandaunts, uncles, aunt, younger brother, future sis-in-law and I to Little India and Bugis on 2nd brother's big day. On the way there, you were the one who told us S.R Nathan's residing place. Before we left Bugis for home, you gave us $7 to buy ice-cream. You said you didn't want any. That was the last time you drove us around;

you came over and sit with us at our table halfway into the dinner during 2nd brother's big day. As usual, you joked around, too;

you antagonised me with something (which I've no recollection of), and I stopped talking to you for a period of time. We slowly started talking to each other again. I regretted. I really do. I shouldn't have done that. That was so silly of me. I'm terribly sorry. I know it's useless now;

you asked me about granduncle's air ticket that Monday. I was a little pissed off before you spoke to me, hence the irritated reply from me. I so regret it. That was the last time we spoke, and I had to talk to you with that tone. I'm really sorry;

you were a supporter of Liverpool's arch-rival, Manchester United. Not forgetting your lovely Real Madrid;
Manchester United had won Liverpool the Sunday before you left, you must've feel great;
Manchester United vs Liverpool. That was the last Premier League match that you had watched;
I supposed you had watched the international match before you left, too;
I used to have football shorts (green colour) back then, thinking back, it must've been given by you. Silly me, I didn't know that was a football shorts back then. Hahs.

I know when you said some unpleasant stuffs, you certainly doesn't mean it. I know you cared. But as you know, I'm short-tempered. So I tend to get irritated at times. I was always apologetic after that.

I've so much memories of you. I've got lots of sorry to say. If only time could turn back, how great that would be? I would treasure you, your laughter, your everything... I would chat with you more often, advise you on that matter. I would take good care of you. Everything.

But time could never turn back.

Thank you for everything.

I so miss you. =(

All I could do now it to pray for you. You must live well in the other world, alright? We aren't by your side now. Do take great care of yourself. Don't worry about grandma, okay? We'll take great care of her, too.

Aiks. I'm crying.. I guess I can't continue any further...

This has been weighing on my heart for a month. And I'm still very much traumatised by this. =( Guess no one could help.

Labels: 26/03/2008, Down, Memories, Regrets, Reminiscence, RIP

With just two hours to mark the end of 2007, it's time for reflection.

But before I start off, I'd like to say, I'm into my first year of blogging as of 29th December. Hahs, only silly people make it a point to remember silly ocassions.

Well, 2007 has been a year of ups and downs for me.

Firstly, I quitted MapleStory. Had thought that I'd lose (contact with) my buddies, but I was so wrong. If I remember correctly, I was chatting with Kai Jie about Friendster when xion dear logged in. And he gave us his email address. Thank goodness. Else, I would have lost contact with him. I forgot how I got Joe's though. Hahs. And Kai Jie and buddies as well. =x I remember how I got James' though. Hahs. And all thanks to HY darling [ her blog ;) ] that I "found" my buddies one by one.

Secondly, I was disappointed that I couldn't get in to any of the polytechnics this time round. And that was when I was finally "awoke". I had actually applied for Science courses. But as I had always stressed, my love is with accounting. Was really lost initially. I didn't know which path to go, and what I should do. Just then, Ivy darling came. And helped me through. She had really done alot. I was recommended by her to go for CAT. And just when I was about to make my decision, something strucked me. I don't want to give up my polytechnic dream. Hence I decided to go for the longer route. That is, the ITE route. I still feel bad though, to have wasted her effort.

Thirdly, I was accepted into Bishan ITE. As I applied only during the final application period, I started my ITE journey only one-and-a-half week after the school term has started. Things (non-studies related) were really tough back then, having not really studied for two years. I had to cope with new environment, new friends and stuffs. Age was an obstacle back then. And now it still is. =( Life's a torture back then. I was all alone all the time, until Ms Low first fell ill. Things had slowly improved, though I don't mingle well with my group of friends still. I mean, my mind's always blank. So, I couldn't think of any topic to start with. That was why I'm forever the "quiet-est". =X

I seriously regret my decision. Had I been "awoke" two years back, I wouldn't have wasted two years of my life. =(

I skipped two days of school after just two days in school. This was the darkest period of my life. I broke down. I was once again, lost. I had struggled for two weeks before I finally settled down in school. And here, I must say that both brothers' girlfriends [then; sister-in-law and sister-in-law to-be now ;) ] had really helped me alot. They counselled me, shared their experiences with me, and encouraged me. And brought me out of the dark period. Here's a huge THANKS to them. *hugs* x33

Next.. Had sat for the first CA for accounting paper and was really proud of my results. =) That was followed by the attendance report. Mine's the worst in class. lolx. It can't be helped, lah. I haven't really been studying for two years, you see. Must give me more time to settle in, right? What's more, I live in Jurong okay. And school's located in Bishan. ~.~

Apart from these school stuffs, my health hasn't really been good for the year.<>_<>I've been getting sick more often than before. aiks. Hopefully next year will be a better year for me.

Then, I had a really unforgettable birthday this year. I won't forget how I was touched to tears on that day. Hahs! Thanks everyone for making me feel so loved. I'm really touched. x3

Something happened during National Day. I was finally kicked out of my beloved guild, Babylon2, by some unknown guy. =) Was really sad initially, afterall I had been in Babylon2 for almost 20 months. But well, lion can let go of it so easily. And so can I. Hmm actually, I really should thank that guy. If not for him, I would still be playing MapleStory up till now. And I won't be able to give my full concentration on my studies. So yup, you did me wrong, but thanks a million! =)

Summarisation of second-half of the year:

Bought a new handphone in late June. And I'm so glad I did. Because I haven't been listening to Yes 933 since I was hogged on MapleStory for like two years? And thanks to the function of this handphone, I could listen to the morning programme everyday. And to add on, one of the host is Cruz Teng! My favourite! x3

I'm so glad Mum's alright now. =) Must take care, okay?! x3

Results of first semester was alright, though a little off my target. =)

Had renewed my membership with BBDC. And I'm darn serious about it now. I'm hoping to get my license before my birthday. =X

Second brother and girlfriend got engaged on 9th October! Will wed on 21st March.
Eldest brother and Ivy darling will be engaged on 6th January (brother's birthday!).
May your love last forever! Stay happy ya! ;)

Attendance for morning assembly for the first-half of second term was atrocious! LOL!

Something that irks me in school. I was insulted by THAT noodle sellers! Like what the f. I did nothing wrong alright. And I have have boycotting THAT stall since THAT very day.

The recent SEA Games had once again motivated me. Six years back, I wanted to do that. But I had no courage then. Six years later, I'm ready to take up the challenge, all thanks to the motivation by the Singapore swimmers. I've decided to learn swimming. Need more information from my primary school classmate though.

And lastly, I had completed the 10km Standard Chartered Marathon Run! I feel so accomplished! =) Oh wait, there's something else that made me feel accomplished in, too. Did two or three templates for my blog this year. And so far, this present template is the one that I'm most satisfied with. (the previous ones were atrocious! lol!) I so love this template can! Especially with the "You'll Never Walk Alone" image. x3

With these, I realised that I had actually reminiscenced in majority of my entry in December. Hahs. So alrights, I shall dedicate December as a month of reminiscence for me! =D

Whew! What a long, long post! -_-"

Labels: Babylon2, Memories, Reminiscence, SEA Games, Struggle, Studies

Loads of memories are being brought back as I chanced upon the blog of my ex-classmate. I saw quite a number of photos of him. He's still got that stoning look. Hahs~ Till now, I could still remember what he had always asked me. :) And I know I still miss him. Yes, I do.
=( I wish I hadn't visited that blog. But what's done is already undone - it's a fact that I've already visited. How is he doing, I wonder? I've got so many things to say.. but I don't know where to start. Or rather, I don't know if I should say anything. Perhaps, I should really create a personal blog, where I can blog about everything - things that I've been weighing in my heart. Sigh~

Labels: Him, Memories