Haven't been blogging for quite some time already. Better do some updates before dear starts nagging again. =x

Well, been busy with studies these days. And guess what, I fell sick again. Two months in a row. Been coughing for almost a month, which is very standard for me. =x Went to the doctor last Sunday and the doctor told me I got throat inflammation. My resistance's getting lower as dear said. I used to only fell sick once or none a year. But I've been getting sick quite frequently since I fell sick last year. =s And dear has been worrying about me due to this. I'm so sorry dear. =( I promise I'll take good care of myself okay?

Exams' coming in like 1.5 weeks time. Really stressed about it. I'll need to study real hard, else my hopes will be dashed for sure. Might not be able to study for the next few days though. Relatives will arrive on Friday. I'm still not sure if my room's available for me to study. And brother's wedding's on this Sunday, 01 March, which also happens to be dear and my day. Disappointed that we can't spend the day on our own, but brother's wedding is more important as what dear said. Argh, I really need to get well as soon as possible, else I won't be able to enjoy good foods this weekend.<>.<>Oh, and I haven't yet decide what to wear too. =x

Tested out the photo uploader in Blogger just now. And I'm glad it's ready for use again. Shall post up some photos next time.


Somehow, I'm feeling something.. Not sure if I'm too sentitive or it's exactly what I thought.. But it's been days already.. I'm really afraid... =(

Labels: Moodless, Sick, Stressed, Studies

Was tearing as I typed that last sent message.
Yes, you'll never understand how I felt.

Won't message until I'm fine.

Labels: Moodless

Alright, so this is going to be yet another emo entry. Just get outta here if you don't like it alright?

Ain't a new year supposed to be a fresh start to everything? And didn't I said I'll let go? But why did I yet again felt a sense of emptiness? No, this time it ain't about her. Dear should be glad I suppose.

I just felt so lost now. Two matter's on my mind. Dear is again working and I've no one to turn to. No idea what time he's off work. Might not get to message him tonight. No idea when I'll be able to do that too, since he'll be working for two shifts for the next two days. There's the pooh bear given by dear. But it's still a bear afterall and can never replace a person. I felt so helpless. Why must I always go through these?

I felt so useless, betrayed, hurt, lost of direction.. And I'm back to square one. I'm really beginning to hate something else now too. It's just an illusion, a dream.. for a short period of time. Perhaps, it was never meant to be this way. Yep, it's just my illusion. I drew the picture too beautifully. And I'm so easily taken in. And I'm now once again being drawn to that situation three/four years back. It's like a cycle. The same thing happened after a few years' time. It was never meant to be mine in the first place.

I realised I've never changed. I give in too much. And I'm still as gullible as before. Really disappointed in myself. *laughs at my stupidity.

Is it always this way - if you gain something, you'll lose something else?

And I realised that I'm actually quite emotional. I used to thought I'd only cry watching sad and touching scenes from dramas, only to found out this ain't true recently. So I actually do cry easily. No wonder it's often said that women are made of water.


Things ain't as perfect as it may seem. And it's not as simple as you may think. Don't judge a book by its cover.

If only fan is here.. she'll probably be able to get me out of this situation. But even if she did tried, I doubt I'll easily get over it.

I'm missing you so much... Can I listen to that song to continue on my emo-ness?
I'm sorry dear, that I had to made you worry again, right on a brand new year.. =(

Labels: Down, Emo, Hurt, Moodless

"Time will reveal one's true colour."

Was listening to a song when this phrase came into my mind. Hah, it's just some random thoughts by the way. =)

Was doing some reminiscence too. And that made me realised I've failed terribly. Hah. Felt like crying, but no one's here for me. Don't bother about me. These shall be kept within myself.

Was (again) reminded of dear. He sent me the song "Cry on My Shoulder" the other time. How sweet. But he ain't around. And that made it worst. This song brought me to something else too. I thought of someone, yet again. I suppose dear should know, especially after you've seen something. 19 June. Does that sounds/looks familiar to you? I suppose that date brought loads of memories to you, eh?

I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I don't know.. They're like inter-linked. I thought of one thing, and it just brought me to something else, and the cycle just goes on and on.

And now Raymond Lam's song is being played. And that brought me to something else again. 说好的幸福呢. Again, I was transferring photos earlier on. And I happened to saw that photo which I took. With these two songs and that photo, the thought of that someone deepens. That made me even feel like crying.

I'm sorry people. Just ignore this entry alright? I don't know what's got into me, that brought about the emo-ness. Probably because I've not been kept busy for the day and no one to talk to. I shan't go any further, lest I get even more emo and worst case, spilled everything out.

Labels: Down, Emo, Moodless

I hate celebrations.
I hate the beginning of a new month.
And most importantly, I hate myself.
The beginning of a new month's no longer fresh for me.
I no longer yearns for the arrival of it.
And it's akin to a meaningless day for me.

I'm so disappointed in myself, my behaviour, my everything.
And no, it's not your fault definitely.

Labels: Moodless

I'm gutted (with my accounting CA). Sigh.

Teacher was shocked. I must've disappointed her this time round. I'm so moodless now. She said if I can be consistent and do well for the next CA, it shouldn't be a problem. But guess what? Teacher said students usually don't score well for Depreciation. That'll goes for me as well, I know. Sigh.

And there goes my A for accounting, the only hope I have. No 3.8 GPA for this semester. Not even 3.5. No nothing. I'm totally gutted. Period.

Labels: Gutted, Moodless, Target