I.seriously.wanna.vomit.blood.already.

Barely slept for less than three hours last night, and earlier on while I was attending class, he text-ed and asked if I could help with his part. So late in the evening. And I text-ed him and got him to adopt my ideas instead, at 4am today. So, did he meant he had to spend 15 hours to decide I should be the one doing it instead?

Bullshit please. This project is totally last-minute in every single thing to me. I don't have the luxury of sitting right in front of my computer the whole day please. And, when I had to format and beautify the file, I had to do it very guiltily in the office, turning my head over every single time I heard the sound of the door for fear my manager comes in. And mind you, that sound happens very frequently!

Angry, angry, angry!

I'm really gonna faint soon. I'm so terribly lacking of sleep!

Labels: Pissed off, School, Stressed, Studies

Staring at the screen blankly, not knowing what to do. Or should I say, have absolutely no idea how I should start.

Being the person doing the final part of the assignment, I've been waiting for my group mate's inputs since Friday. Without his portion, I practically couldn't start doing anything. It's the fourth day today, and he's still not providing me anything. Saturday till today; 3 non-working days where I'd definitely be able to complete my work. However, due to him dragging day by day, I'm getting so stressed up again, with the deadline on this Friday, and I've got class on Thursday. Oh, and mind you, I'm working full-time, too.

Arghh. I thought I have the luxury of completing my part within a time frame of 2 weeks (yes, slowly, in my own pace). However, due to all these, I'm unable to. And if he still continues dragging, till, say, Wednesday, I think, I won't have to sleep already.

Been telling him to at least give me a brief of what he's gonna do, but he kept asking me to start first. Like, hello? My part is directly linked to yours please. If I've got no idea of what you're gonna do, then how am I even going to start?!?

Why do I always have to complete the assignments at the eleventh hour? I seriously had enough of all these stresses over assignments! Just this semester is shitty enough!

Labels: School, Stressed

Last meal I had: 12.30pm, 01 Sep 2014
Next meal I had: 4.15pm, 02 Sep 2014

- Achievement unlocked -

Lol. Unintentionally, though.

Rushed for test after work; didn't have time, or rather, have no appetite for food since I was already stressed up for the test. After which, had to attend lecture. Tummy was crying for  hunger by then. Reached home, and it was already 11pm. Definitely a no-no for food then.

Earlier today, visited the doctor as I wasn't feeling well. Rushed to class after that. By the time I reached home, it was already 4.15pm. No longer feeling hungry, but yet, due to my *itchy* mouth, I die die also wanna chew on something. And hence, breaking the "fast". ._.

Labels: School, Stressed, Studies, Unwell

Okay. So, the results for the bridging course has released. Well, to be honest, though I know it would be released in July, but I didn't expect it to be this early. I'd actually happened to chanced upon it when I "itchy hand" and went to clicked on "Academic Profile" after logging in to the Student Portal.

And so, I so happened to see a "Pass" indicated for my Econs module, which is like a WOW. lol. Seriously, I didn't expect myself to pass this module because I've always been weak in this and didn't have much confidence actually. Went to double-check and indeed, I really managed to secure a pass for Econs! Now, that's really something to be happy about! :)

But wait, Econs ain't the only module I took for the bridging course. There's still the Maths module. Okay, to be very honest, I had more confidence in Maths than in Econs, and I'd expect to have at least passed the module. But hell no. I went to select the module and saw a "Fail". Depressed much.

Passed 1/2 modules for exemptions. Supposed to be able to complete the whole degree course in 2 years, but with only 1/2 modules passed, I can't help thinking - now what? No doubt, it has left me dangling there pondering if this is really what I want - I mean, if this really suits me? Studying a degree just for the sake of its reputation?

Actually to be honest, even after doing the e-course registration last month, I'm still asking myself - is this really what I want? Well, I've been evading this question mainly because I've paid so much for the bridging courses and if I were to change my mind, wouldn't I be wasting the money I've spent thus far?

I'd actually went for interviews for the past few days, and once again, each interview I went, they've all advised me not to go for UOL. Their reaction (from how I interpreted) were like, UOL ain't that good, I shouldn't be considering that. I was like, "uh, how come? Shouldn't a UK degree be more recognised, and more "heavy-weight" than RMIT, UniSIM degrees?" I REALLY thought all employers thought so, until the first I went, actually advised me to go for RMIT instead. And the third one, to UniSIM. So, the conclusion? They don't really care about UOL. Am I right to say that?

So, once again.. Now what?

Sighs.

Labels: Disappointed, Down, Stressed, Studies

Alrighty. I'm back to continue my final post for 2011. So how's 2011 for me? Lots of ups and downs I'd say. And it all start right from the beginning of the year.

January

Just a week before Uncle Peter passed away, on 10 January, I was out with Mum and brother to shop for CNY stuffs when we received a phone call from Uncle Peter's buddy, Uncle Koh. He told us that Uncle Peter wants to give up fighting already, and wants us to give the go ahead for him. Of course, we weren't agreeable to it. And he seemed to have given up the thought a few days later. However, his condition turned for the worse during this period. Fever not being able to subside and internal blessings occurred. Breathing became very difficult for him and at times we were very afraid he'll be leaving us. I'm really afraid of receiving phone calls from brother when I was in school. Because a phone call spells bad signs.

We were all taking turns taking care and staying by Uncle's side from Friday to Sunday during that week. Breathing worsen many times but Uncle seemed to breeze through. Worsen again just before we left the hospital on Sunday night. However was alright after some time. For the very first time, I didn't mute my phone because I was really afraid Uncle might not survive through. All the way till I woke up for school, no phone calls from 3rd uncle who was accompanying him at the hospital. So I thought, no news = good news. Had planned to accompany him after my lesson on Monday. Then at 8.45am, Mum phoned and told me what I had planned too. At 9.10am, another phone call. This time, it was brother. He told me to get to the hospital. I thought I could still see Uncle Peter. But he last breathed at 9.19am, when I was hailing a cab. I couldn't assure him in time that he need not worry about grandma - the person he worries most. No promises could be made. And this really saddens me. Nothing could describe how I'm feeling. Even till now, it still aches me bitterly. Never in my life have I cried so terribly, not even when Uncle Mao passed away three years ago. 17 January 2011. That was the worst day of my life. This is definitely a very big blow to me.

My only regrets are not visiting you him often enough, and not giving him the assurance that I wanted to. :( Till now, I still can't accept the fact that he's left us. I really don't understand why such thing had to happen to such a great person like him. I really don't understand.

Dedicated a post to Uncle Peter on Facebook the night before we send him on his last journey. And that was when I 'sort of' return to Facebook.

But grandma's been well during the period of Uncle Peter's absence. I know for sure, Uncle's been looking after grandma up there. Right, Uncle Peter? :)

Oh yea, I did managed to fulfill something though. I've finally brought grandma out for exercise last Saturday. Though only once for the whole of 2011, but it's still better than none, right? =x

真的好想你。

-----------------------
Posted about the heartbreak as well, and seeking forgiveness from the besties about my MIA. I suppose my family really did somehow found out about our patch. Heard from brother that it's also due to this that Uncle don't feel safe to leave what he's left with, with me. Hmm.. even Uncle also knows that jerk's unreliable, and is likely to con me of my stuffs. Well done, Uncle! But your niece's ain't stupid, hor. ;)

-----------------------
March

Went Taiwan for a holiday, like finally. This trip definitely came at a time no better than this. Following the heartbreak, Uncle Peter passing away, as well as the stress over studies, this getaway is definitely a very much needed one. Oh, and this is the first oversea trip after like nine years?! Excited to the max can! ^_^

It was a 10-day trip to Taiwan and mind you, Taiwan's a really great place to visit! Totally fell in love with Taiwan and can't wait to go again! ^_^ Oh yea, did I mention seeing some handsomes over there? My xiao wei and alishan~~ Ahhhh!! Wonder if I can still get to see them when I travel next year. But luck's not with me, because my camera, or rather, the SD card died on me on the second or third day. I didn't know at all, and continued snapping around. Came back and checked the photos, could only retrieve a lil portion of it. Damn sad-ed, you know? Moreover, my alishan's gone too! Sad to the infinity can! I not only snapped pictures of him, but I also took a video of him singing. Like, what the hell! :'(

Luggage overloaded. Could be because it's my first trip there - lotsa things to buy. lol. So lesson learnt - I'm opting for 30kg for the trip next year. I'd rather pay a lil more for now, than paying so much more should I really exceeded the limit.

-----------------------
April

Met up with the besties, like finally. We met on April Fool's, did we? A lil awkward too, because I haven't met them for so long. And I feel really bad for MIA-ing. Sorry gals. I'm really thankful that they didn't give up this friendship. <3 Anyway, it's bowling session that day. It's my first time too.

-----------------------
July

Got back the Common Test results and I'm really disappointed in myself. I failed Managerial Accounting module, not by 1 or 2 marks, but by a relatively big margin. Made a grave mistake and it cost me dearly. Was so disappointed that I 'blamed' my ancestors for not blessing me no matter how sincere I am. And thus followed by blaming them for not blessing Uncle Peter when he's even more sincere than I am, and a very much better, filial person than I am. I know I shouldn't do that, but I just can't help myself, especially after Uncle Peter was rewarded leukemia with sincerity. I'm so sorry, ancestors. But now I know why they don't bless me. Mum just told me the other day that my grandfather didn't used to like me when he was still around. He was more of the traditional type - favours boys over girls. So, that probably explains why? Hmm.. But I'm glad grandma's not like my grandfather. I heard she loves girls. No wonder she dotes on me so much. And even till now, she's always looking for me. Like, there was once when I got home late and she didn't sleep because of that. x_x I'm still like a lil girl to her. She's always asking me to eat when it's dinner time, like so afraid I'll go hungry. Haa. Grandma, I love you. <3

Anyway, even till now, it still pricks me whenever I heard of people getting leukemia. It'll just remind me of Uncle Peter.. The suffering he'd gone through.. The life taken away. Why, why such a healthy person like him had to suffer this? But I thank God for not taking Uncle Peter away from us so fast. He managed to survived through a period of seven months, when the doctor had estimated a period of two to three months.

-----------------------
Another thing. I went for a concert for the very first time of my life! Like, WOW! It's the Korean Music Wave 2011 and I'm so amazed. All thanks to my cousin, who came for a holiday with 3rd aunt and and her brother. My cousin's a truly Korean-craze. Haa. And it so happened that this concert falls within the period they're here. She wants to go so badly, and aunt got me to accompany her.

Actually I'm not that keen in going, because the concert so happened to fall on the same day as Aaron Yan's autograph session at IMM. However, she won't be able to go if I don't agree. So yep. Was really disappointed that I couldn't attend Aaron Yan's thought. :( But anyway, the concert was an experience for me, allowing me to see so many bands at one go, like U-Kiss, FT Island and the likes like Big Bang and 2NE1. Okay, I admit I'm really afraid Big Bang might sing a song, but thank goodness, guess that song was quite some time ago, so they didn't sang it afterall.

Thanks, cousin. You made it possible for my first. :)

-----------------------
August

This final semester before the internship was really hectic. Totally no life, I'd say. Imagine coming home from school everyday, bathed and had dinner, then up next - sit infront of laptop to do projects. Well, that's been my life for the past six months of the semester. And when I said 'everyday', it's really everyday. Sometimes I really wonder why in the world did I put in hell lotsa effort, when the rest only put in so little, and gotten the same reward. Hard work definitely don't pay off. And this applies to friendship as well. Polytechnic friends to me, are just hi-bye friends. They aren't, and don't make good confidante. And if unlucky, you'll end up being a tool to them. That's my case, probably?

The way they, or rather, she treat me. And she still dare to say I'll surely be MIA after graduation. Hello? You don't know me well definitely. Family, to me, comes first. And friends' up next. Alright? I do cherish friendship alot. And they way you treat me really makes me feel like MIA-ing, too. So what, if I appears during the meet out? I'll always be the one who's being leftout, no matter what. And so what, when I'm always the one giving? You approached me for help, I'll always give all out. Yes, I do, no matter you're close to me or not. But end up? It's just fruitless. Would you appreciate it? No. Well, I guess no matter what I do, the treatment will still be different between us. If so, why don't you jolly well get her to help and just leave me alone?

Everytime I suggested / planned something, you'll disagree. But when 'she' suggested, you'll agree straight. Well, if you don't like my suggestions, then jolly well tell me. Asked me for suggestions, and when I suggest, you don't wanna take it. What do you take me for? Leaving me out is already good enough. And you still had to treat me this way. Oh, and I'm sorry, I seriously don't like the idea of 'her' going Taiwan with us.

I'm sorry, but this ain't the friendship I'd hoped for. Friendship to me, is all about being able to laugh and joke around together. I didn't want to elaborate so much actually, but I just needed a gateway to pour everything out. And my blog, is the best way to do so.

-----------------------
September

Start of internship. Got into this company very unexpectedly. Was given the option to choose the companies and field that we wanna enter into. However, this company wasn't in the list. Was told that this company actually sent in the application late, hence the omission. I was thinking, since there weren't any company that interests me, I decided to choose the ones with very high pay, so there won't be a chance of me getting in. lol. Then, as expected, out of the six choices given, I did not get into any of it. The in-charge then allocate IRAS to me. However, she phoned me a week later and told me there's openings for this company and asked if I wanna take up the offer. I was like, WOW. Reason being, this company has been the one that I've been wanting to get in since Secondary 4. That was the first accounting firm that I heard of, which probably explains why the feeling for the firm.

So talking about the internship, I didn't learn much actually. Or should I say, it's too complex for me. This department's not what I wanted to enter. However, am glad that the seniors are all nice people. The executive's director a Dutch. Very, very nice and friendly person. :) However, he'll be leaving the company soon. :(

-----------------------
October

"Quarreled" with one of the poly mates over the Taiwan trip. Thankfully, all's solved. Also went to my very first Dinner & Dance. But not able to wear nice nice though, because my seniors decided to follow the theme. :(

-----------------------
November

Am showing signs of happiness. Somehow. My days will just be brightened up the moment I saw him. However, the timing seemed to have messed up totally and I could no longer see him. I don't like this feeling really. :( Why in the first place gave me the chance of seeing him, yet take back after awhile? I'd really rather I don't see him at all in the first place. No hope = no disappointments. And now, just because of that short period, I'm always so looking forward to seeing him, but ended up in disappointments and disappointments in the past month. And I suppose, there won't be a next again. Sighs. Such things always happen to me, no?

-----------------------
December

Went for marathon like finally. Conquered 10km for the timing of 1:23:41. Glad to have achieved such good result, which was also below my target of 1 hour 30 minutes. Also surpassed my 2007 result by an hour. :) And by the way, Mum was so cute can! She told me to keep the running singlet as a "souvenir" and not use it, because it's unique due to the different design every year. lol.

Bought the camera at last. Not DSLR though, due to some issues. Second time back to that place to purchase the camera after September. Actually I'm already numb, but somehow upon reaching, and saw the familiar places, I teared suddenly. Told sis-in-law about it, but well. All I wanted to say is, not everyone take the same time to recover.

-----------------------
Well, to sum-up everything. I'm really glad he's off my mind at last. Yeah, sort of. Should say, I'm already numb (no feelings) to his name. But his name and that place irks me still. And I'm still on the road to recovery. Hopefully by the time the future one comes, I'll be able to visit those places I detests with him happily.

For those who said this to me, "it's so long already. don't think about him can already." Well, as mentioned earlier, the period of recovery differs. One thing I'd like to say - I did not think of him. Everything just occurred naturally. As an emotional person and one who puts too much feeling into the relationship, if I say it doesn't pricks, I'd be lying. I think I'm already showing good progress to have come thus far. Perhaps for you, your recovery is fast. But hey, that doesn't mean everyone's the same as you. I hope you get what I mean.

Labels: 17.01.2011, Concert, Disappointed, Emo, Family, Feelings, Friends, HS, Internship, Marathon, Memories, New Year, Promise, Reflection, Regrets, Sigh, Stressed, Studies

Brother showed me this video when I reached home.

Ngee Ann Polytechnic Graduation Blooper: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZEhEeZACnk

LOL!

Making such blunder at such a ceremony. -_- That was like, so OMG!


E-learning week's seriously a killer. =(

Labels: LOL, Stressed

This has been dragging on and on, and finally I've completed the individual assignment. Essay of 750 (+/- 10%) which means an allowance of 75 words. But I exceeded like 200 words even after deducting the allowance. Simplify and simplify, still ended up with 65 words over the limit. ._. How, how? =(

Oh well. As for my health, I'm almost fully recovered, except for my cough. Voice was rather deep yesterday. ._. It's better today, and hopefully will be back to normal by tomorrow. I'm actually rather surprised that my flu recovered so fast this time round. Sleeping rather early for the past few days due to the medication, which is a good thing. Heh. Anyways, I'm still thinking if I should visit the doctor tomorrow for my cough. But then, it's expensive bcause cough is the only reason for me to see the doctor. But it'll take me a long time to recover if I don't see the doctor. Hmmm...

Quite a number of tasks on hand like LSR research plus project, 3 tutorials and Business Communications' analysis, all to be done by Tuesday. Then, trip to Science Centre, which I've yet to decide when to go. Followed by LSR online tutorials and revision for quiz, all of which are to be completed by the end of next week. Then, e-learning week on the following week, which I reckon will be used to complete our long report since there's no lesson.


Poor pig pig got thrown back to my room last night because I thought you were ignoring me. =X

Labels: School, Sick, Stressed, Studies

27.04.10

I think I'm really blur yesterday. -_- Firstly, there's only one lesson yesterday and I thought it was Costing tutorial. Since there's no need to do anything prior to the tutorial and research needs to be done on the spot, I brought my lappy along. When I reached the class, I asked Ya Li if she brought her lappy. Then, to my horror (yes, horror), she told me that it's Taxation's tutorial and not Costing's. I was like, so shock! As mentioned, "horror" because I thought Taxation tutorial's on Thursday, hence I didn't do my tutorial. =X

Secondly, I thought I went to the wrong level when I reached third storey. That was the first time our lesson was being held at that level. Hence, I was shocked when I walked out of the lift because it turns out to be the carpark. Then, I saw Zhi Mei suddenly and realised I actually didn't went to the wrong level, lolx. Luckily there's her to accompany me to look for our class. =X

And finally, Ya Li was on the same bus as me on the way home. We took SMRT bus - 75 - and when the bus reached the shell station, I bid goodbye to Ya Li, thinking that we were taking bus 61. lolx. And I actually wondered why Ya Li replied me by saying, "what goodbye?". It's only then that I realised we took bus 75. LOL. Cannot blame lah, because bus 61 is also SMRT bus. =X

So, that ends off on what is considered to be a "blurry" day.


28.04.10

Lappy

I'm damn f up with my lappy. It's really driving me crazy! I just got it repaired and it's having problem again. Like what the f lah seriously. First few start-ups after bringing lappy back already having problem and now it totally can't start up. Arghhh! It's like, on-off working. Was working fine in the morning, but when I tried starting up when I got home, it just couldn't. Screwed. So screwed. Once lappy's down, it's really time to say goodbye already. Boooo!

Can you imagine the fumes?!

Oh well, gotta drag my feet back to Funan tomorrow. And I hope it's not my hard disk/drive's (whatever, because I'm a computer-idiot) problem becaue I haven't fully transferred my files over yet! =(


Printer's ink

Hi printer ink, on 17 April.
Bye printer ink, on 28 April.
RIP. -_-

Gahh, it die out on me so fast. Ink's expensive, you know?!


Hang-free

Yay, sweet! Bye Kaspersky. You've really screwed up my computer. Now that you're gone, there's no more of hanging halfway while using the internet anymore. Should've gotten rid of you earlier. =X


Irritant(s)

Damn smoker (one storey above me) is back again! F lahh! It really irritates alot and pissed me off, you know?! I can't even stand a smoker sitting/standing right beside me, let alone someone who's just a storey above me, with my windows right beside me, fully taking in second-hand smoke. *curses*


Birthday

Happy Birthday to my dearest Pei Er! SMS-ed her a total of three times using iPhone, but there's no reply at all. This Er seemed MIA. -_- Or is it my phone's having any problems? =\


Projects

I think I'm gonna flunk my IS module this semester. One of my classmate is being ostracised for our Business Communication's project. Heard from another classmate that it's because she don't contribute to projects at all. Actually I really had that feeling during the first IS lesson last week, and the second lesson just confirms what I felt. Worst thing is, my IS class only has five girls, inclusive of me. And I guess the project groups for our IS module are more or less fixed already. So I'm really dead meat already. =( I need a get-away - from her. =(


You know, I'm really happy, that you're finally willing to fetch me from school on your own accord. <3 But I hope you really won't disappoint me.

Labels: Birthday, Blur, Fed up, Fuming, School, Stressed

Last day of school, but no joy just yet because there's still a hurdle to go before the start of a 2-week break.

Common Test's just next week. And I think my drive to study has just been ignited. Now, why do I say so? It's because I was so into the Macroeconomics' lesson today. That was really something which I've not done in any economics lessons so far (or should I say, in Ngee Ann Poly so far?). However, I just haven't got into the mood of revising for Business Law. It's supposed to be my favourite module. =(

Can't really say it's time to enjoy after the Common Tests. Just take a look at the list of things to be done over the meagre holiday period.

1. Business Management proposal (due 22 January 2010)
2. Business Law article (due 14 January 2010)
3. DSS PBL 2 (due 31 January 2010)
4. Life Management Skills Assignment 4 (due 13 January 2010)
5. Business Law tutorial (due 7 January 2010)
6. Macroeconomics tutorial (due 8 January 2010)
7. Business Management tutorial (due 8 January 2010)

None of them has started, except for Business Management. My group is still in a very immature stage, and guess what, we're already stucked. Already stucked at such an early stage, what's more, we're to write up a 11-15 pages proposal. ~.~ This is crazy. Really crazy. And my group has the least members, with a count of only 3. DSS PBL 2 is another major problem as well. Totally clueless. And goodness, I didn't even know I'll be having presentations for two days consecutively until I typed out these. =\

Like I always said to Ya Li, holidays aren't holidays until the end of the semester. Two weeks ain't too short, neither is it too long. Not much can be done in the first week as one of my clique will be away for a holiday. I reckon we won't be meeting out much in the second week as well. So, could I have the time for a day to be extended beyond 24 hours, please?

Short holidays are meant to kill us afterall.

While others will be enjoying their holidays (Christmas and New Year), I guess I'll be burying myself in projects. Really hope to clear projects (though I know it's impossible) during this holiday.

Oh, I just realised the deadline for this week's DSS tutorial is 31 December. I didn't know about it because I was on MC that day. And guess what, I'm just done with it. lolx. Made me rush for it. I thought deadline's next Monday. =\ But I should be glad to have one task down.

My table's getting messier each day. Bills pending for payments are piling on my table. Unwritten cheques, registration for fibre installation, etc. All are undone.

I'm so in need of time. =(

Before I end this post, I would like to thank Pei Er for agreeing to my date with Storm Warriors 2. My Aaron Kwok.. =D I supported him since 1993, heh! Wow, amazing 16 years! o.O But I still love my Raymond Lam more. =X Anyway, hope to meet out with the girls soon.


PS. I know this is very random, but.. Cruz Teng took 2 tablets of menstrual painkiller this morning! =X

Labels: Cruz Teng, Exam, Idol, Stressed

Not feeling well again. Guess it's due to the "overwhelming" amount of work to be done and deadlines to meet. Insufficient sleep too I guess.

It's the n th time of the year already. Seriously I think there's a problem with me. Been falling sick rather frequently ever since my fever last May.

Final project for the term ends next week. However, it's still not time to rest yet because common test falls on the following week. Will be having a 2-weeks break after that. But still, I hope to finish up the projects before the second term starts.


I've a feeling that I'm trying to bury myself with school work.

Labels: Sick, Stressed

Labels: Stressed

20.05.2009

So, I'm back in school after a 2-days MC. The whole morning was so ruined. Was really disappointed in what I did and what happened today. My presentation was a total flop. I felt really stupid and at that moment really feel like giving up everything. I know no matter how hard I tried, nothing good will come out of it.

Common tests are coming. I'm so stressed. Like what the doctor said, I'm probably too stressed due to the exams, which led to my headache. And probably that's the reason for giving me an extra day of MC - to let my brain have a rest perhaps? o_O I really have the feeling that I'll flunk all the modules. I'm just so stupid. YA, REALLY STUPID. =(

I need to relieve myself. =(


I've just heard the song of dear's ringtone. Makes me miss him so much following my emo-ness. =(

Labels: Emo, Stressed, Studies

Hello people, I'm back after a 10-days hiatus. I realised the last time I did a proper update was like almost a month ago. Hah. Mood was really poor for the past month, having emotional breakdown and stuffs. Having to adapt to a new environment was really tough. And I have to admit I'm taking a very long time trying to adapt. It's already the fifth week, and I'm still here struggling. =\ Thanks dear, Aringi and Mabel for the strength and support. I will hang on, at least for now.

Certain thing that happened in school really made me lost faith in that. I know life's like that. However, it just inevitably caused me some problems. And I hate to say this, but it still caused some adverse effect to my life now, all because I'm just someone who really treasure that.

I know dear will scold me for this, but very often, I feel that I'm very stupid. I feel that I still know nothing about the modules. For accounting module, it's only so-so. And I'm really disappointed in that. Kinda made me lost faith in accounting already. =( Where have my love for accounting gone to? =( And seriously, I don't understand why the hell we have to study IT. ~.~

Oh, and I've just came the conclusion that notes printing can really make one go crazy. ~.~ Having to flip pages while printing the powerpoint slides is really I-don't-know-what-to-say. And it's only a month, but I've already used up two black ink cartridges already. I don't know how much I'll have to spend for the three years I'm in Ngee Ann Poly. =\

Anyways, I want to know Jess the evilger! Hah! =X

Well, that's all for now I guess.

Labels: Disappointed, Emo, Stressed, Struggle, Studies

Haven't been blogging for quite some time already. Better do some updates before dear starts nagging again. =x

Well, been busy with studies these days. And guess what, I fell sick again. Two months in a row. Been coughing for almost a month, which is very standard for me. =x Went to the doctor last Sunday and the doctor told me I got throat inflammation. My resistance's getting lower as dear said. I used to only fell sick once or none a year. But I've been getting sick quite frequently since I fell sick last year. =s And dear has been worrying about me due to this. I'm so sorry dear. =( I promise I'll take good care of myself okay?

Exams' coming in like 1.5 weeks time. Really stressed about it. I'll need to study real hard, else my hopes will be dashed for sure. Might not be able to study for the next few days though. Relatives will arrive on Friday. I'm still not sure if my room's available for me to study. And brother's wedding's on this Sunday, 01 March, which also happens to be dear and my day. Disappointed that we can't spend the day on our own, but brother's wedding is more important as what dear said. Argh, I really need to get well as soon as possible, else I won't be able to enjoy good foods this weekend.<>.<>Oh, and I haven't yet decide what to wear too. =x

Tested out the photo uploader in Blogger just now. And I'm glad it's ready for use again. Shall post up some photos next time.


Somehow, I'm feeling something.. Not sure if I'm too sentitive or it's exactly what I thought.. But it's been days already.. I'm really afraid... =(

Labels: Moodless, Sick, Stressed, Studies

Just finished making cookies for the day. Don't feel like sleeping yet, hence decided to use computer. Well, I'm quite glad that I actually exceeded my initial target of 1kg. Managed to make 2.5kg which I felt is a great achievement. Gotta wake up early tomorrow again to continue. And hopefully I could really complete this cookie by tomorrow.

I guess I really tire myself out today. Headache's came looking for me again at 9pm just now. And it's still not gone. Arm's aching as well. Had a scare at one point in time as I thought my arm's dislocating. =x But thankfully, it's not. Hopefully with a night of rest, I'll be fine again. I'm having exam stress as well. Had a bad dream yesterday. Schedule's really tight. I just don't have enough time for everything.

One cookie's already confirm not making. And that's the cookie which my family loves. Or perhaps I should say grandma's child loves that because it used to be made by grandma when she's still fine. Pineapple cookie already took away two full days from me. I could only stretched till Monday maximum. And after that, I'm gonna give my full concentration on the CA. It's already the second last step. I really don't want to give up at this point in time. Bless me please.

Labels: Cookies, Stressed

Holidays has started at last. And that would mean I'll bore at home throughout the three weeks. Actually I had tried looking for jobs for the past weeks, but three weeks are just too short for a job. Those jobs requires one to commit till Chinese New Year at least. I wouldn't be able to do that because I'll be busy once the school reopens, otherwise the second week of school.

So that will mean less time with dear and clique, and also less time for schoolwork. =( Worst still, accounts CA2's before the Chinese New Year. Damn, I won't be able to get good result this time.

Anyway, I'll be sure of make full use of this holiday. First and most important matter on hand is to get sufficient rest, then take good care of my face and diet. Hopefully by the time the school reopens, I'll be able to return to the past me where there ain't (much) pimples. Bless me please. purewhitey, please "bless" me! =X

Next, I have to buck up for accounts. I did very badly for this new topic. Even dear catches up fast. I'm so terribly disappointed in myself.

And lastly, I feel that I'm really into making cookies. Had just looked through one of the recipe books and I'm learning from the basics. Hah, didn't used to learn from basics because it was Mum who taught me how to make those types of cookies. And amazingly, I didn't feel bored reading them, which is a good thing I guess. =D Will look for more recipes then decide on one to make. And of course, will try out more cookies if it's successful. =) Would like to try on cake-making if it's possible.

I've been having double eyelid since I woke up this morning. Having a double eyelid for me implies that I'm either lack of sleep or I'm sick. But weirdly, I don't think I'm tired, neither do I feel sick. =X


I just remembered there's actually a television in my room! Hahs!


12.12.2008

School was rather short today. Had three hours of Smart Ledger in the morning and I'm already almost froze to death in the second hour. =X Went up to the classrom after that but had to wait for quite some time before we went in, reason being I'm still very cold. =X Only 11 of us turned up for the last lesson and teacher let us off early, giving us two chocolates each. Hah, thanks alot. I've been craving for chocolates these days. =) Oh, and thanks dear for the chocolate too. =)

Went Cineleisure for lunch yet again. Haas, three consecutive days. =X And dear owed me something! Humph!

Alright, so our reason for being there again is because dear wants to get the shirt that he tried the day before. I'm glad we went today because that was the last piece. We reserved that shirt and went up to look for something else. I tried on the dress that I took a liking to, as mentioned in the earlier post. Looked rather weird as I'm trying on with my school shoes. ~.~ Changed back to my uniform and dear paid for it. =\ Thanks dear, but don't waste so much on these again alright? Oh, and dear loves me! =D

Headed to that shop after that to get that shirt. While paying for it, we saw something and felt somewhat cheated. =\ Didn't that person said that was the last piece? Why was there another neatly folded one on the counter? Whatever.. Dear finally got his shirt. =) That means I don't owe him any shopping anymore. Yay! =P So.. I'll go shop for my clothes on my own. =D

To sum up the week, I spent quite alot of time with dear. Reason being he's starting work soon, so we won't get to meet that often. Work is more important dear. We'll meet three weeks later when school reopens alright? =P But this time round, it's me who won't be able to spend much time with you. =(


When I go silent all of a sudden, yes, there's something wrong with me.


I saw something when I searched for my tags for "busy" earlier on. The last post for this was on 26.03.2008. And it was posted just before I came over for dinner...

Labels: 26/03/2008, Bored, Cookies, Disappointed, Down, Holidays, Stressed, Studies

Had breakfast this morning specially made by dear. That was so sweet of him. Hehs. Thanks dear! =)

School today was practically homework and homework. Was so stressed up for accounts that I cried. That was the first time I guess, for crying over schoolwork. ._. So embarrased. And my action scare dear badly I guess. =X I must've made dear stressed up too. I'm really sorry dear. =(

Headed to Cineleisure for lunch again. Dear had wanted to eat at Koufu again but he sort of changed his decision last minute. He asked if he should eat KFC or at Koufu. Knowing that he's been craving for KFC, I sacrificed and accompany him for KFC. =X Couldn't resist the temptation and got dear to buy me Famous Amos' cookies on the way out. =D Thanks dear, I love you! =)


Dear's so enjoying his meal.

Heeren next to get my Levi's jeans and I'm so loving it. Similar to dear, this is my so-called first jeans. =)

Headed to Far East Plaza after that to look for dear's shirt. Couldn't find a nice black one, but saw another nice one. Got dear to try on it and it's really nice. Should have gotten dear to take a pic of himself in that shirt but I only remembered about it after he changed back. =( Dear seriously looks so handsome in that shirt. =) Hopefully it'll still be available when dear return to buy the shirt.

As for me, I took a liking to a dress. And it's white. =) Quite cheap at $40. Saw a similar one at Bugis Street later in the day, cheaper by a dollar. Then went Bugis Junction and saw the same dress again. And blur me, that was when I realised I've been aiming at the same dress for thrice. ~.~

And dear was so silly just now! It was raining quite heavily when we crossed the road towards Bugis Junction (from Bugis Street). He sheltered me and got drenched. *heart pain* I woud've stopped him if I knew earlier. And I would have used my own umbrella too, if I knew how heavy the rain was. Dear really loves me. =(

Second brother and sister-in-law came home for dinner today. Was already having dinner half-way. And when I went in to the living room after I had my dinner, I saw a huge Winnie the Pooh! That was so cute can! I was hoping that it's my Christmas present from sister-in-law, but just as expected, it was my younger brother's. =( He's so bad can! He's keeping the pooh in my room! Rawr..!! I so wanna own one.. =(


So cute!<>.<>

Oh, before I forget, this is Dad's birthday cake..


So cute right?! =D

Aunt just told me that she bought strawberry for me. So sweet (of her)! =D


Thanks dear, you're so so sweet! Thanks for everything you did. I lov.. oops, I mean.. Dear loves me! =D

Labels: Birthday, Cookies, Disappointed, Loves, Stressed, Winnie The Pooh

25.11.2008

Dear's forever so sweet. Thanks dear! "Ai ni jiu jiu" =D


26.11.2008

Quite a short day. Only had an hour of lesson if I remember correctly. Oh, to be exact, that's a quiz session for accounts. Had spaghetti for lunch in school, then off to revision for the CA tomorrow. And we had to shift classes twice before we finally settle down in our own classroom. ~.~ Finished our revision at around 4pm, then dear and I went to the basement of Junction 8. Reason? Dear said he's hungry after using too much of his brain juice! Humph. Excuses say excuses lah. =x Hai wo got tempted. Humph.


27.11.2008

Accounts CA1 today. Despite numerous assurance by dear, I'm still not very confident. =( Had the "yuan yang noodle" for lunch and the soup's marvellous!

My love, Raymond Lam, my handsome, Kevin Cheng and dear's darling, Bobby Au-Yeung's in town for the opening ceremony of the cafe "满恒楼"! My favourite DJ, Cruz Teng, was there as well! Aww.. I so wanna go can! =(

Anyway, Bosco Wong's coming next! Dec 2 at IMM! (and I forgot who else's coming too) Ahhhhh~~~


28.11.2008

Congrats dear on scoring 100 marks for the CA yesterday! I'm so proud of you! =)

Boarded my favourite bus to interchange for four consecutive days. Damn happy! =D Would have boarded the earlier bus as I'm ready quite early today, thanks to "someone". =x He wants me to make breakfast for him. So I had no choice but to wake up early today. Humph.

Had "yuan yang noodle" for lunch again. But the soup doesn't taste as nice as yesterday's. =\ Headed over to Junction 8 for air-con as we were both sweating. ~.~ Saw the Hello Kitty performance and headed to the third storey with the idea of capturing some photos. But were halted by those strawberry ice-creams! =\ By the time we're done, the performance has already ended. =( So we take a walk around the junction and we saw lots of chocolates! They all looks so delicious, so tempting. =(

Dinner tonight totally spoiled my plan for the week. =(

Damn it. I'm so pissed! My mood was totally spoilt when I came home these two days. Ashes from cigarettes from THAT INCONSIDERATE PERSON LIVING RIGHT ABOVE ME were once again scattered all over my table. Oh f*** man! You idiot! Told mum about this and she told me that the house above was actually rented out. I'm so gonna get someone to complain on my behalf!

Auditing CA up next. I'm not at all prepared yet. And I've totally no confident in this module. =(

Labels: Loves, Pissed off, Stressed

I'm lazy to blog. But since dear requested for it, I've no choice but to do it. Hmm, shall ask dear to blog for me next time. Oh ya, dear, don't blame me for what's going to happen alright? =P

10.11.2008

Quite a short day if I remember correctly. Went Junction 8 for lunch then off to get my cutey. =D Had wanted to go AMK Hub to try on that Hebe top after I parted with dear, but I'm lazy to get up after getting a seat in the train. =p Home-d, and off to bed.


11.11.2008

Had a two-hour Audit case-study lesson in the morning, then off to Napfa Test in the afternoon. Was quite disappointed at my failure to pass one of the station, but nevertheless, I feel a sense of achievement. I've never did so well for my 2.4km run before. So yep, I'm really happy. =)


12.11.2008

Happy Birthday to second sister-in-law! x3

Went Junction 8 for lunch and on the way to KFC, I saw something. It's Raymond Lam on the cover of U Weekly! OMG! He's so handsome can! x3 My eyes were totally glued to the screen the moment I saw the advertisement at Junction 8. Haas!

Oh, and dear was so pity today. lolx!

I found out about something today. I realised I somehow fell in love with Winnie the Pooh since I-don't-know when. =x


13.11.2008

Went Simei ITE for the career fair. A bit regret about not applying for that school. Haas. But if I enrolled in Simei ITE, I wouldn't have met someone, and my bunch of wonderful friends. =)

After the career fair, we headed to the MRT station on foot. Cigarettes clouds the passage way on the way out. Damn. I so hate it man!

Had wanted to head to the airport since it's quite near. But I changed my mind after I saw Eastpoint. Haven't been to there before, so yep. Was there with dear and laopo. Oops, Cynthia, I mean. Saw This Fashion and Cynthia and I were like so happy. lolx. Bought two tops, I think? (pardon me, I got serious short-term memory =x)

Had KFC (yes, again!) for an early dinner and I've never felt so "pig" like today. =\ I'm so gonna eat less for the coming week. Fried ones especially. Oh ya, dear is so cute! Haas. He really thought Northpoint is at Pasir Ris! Oops.. =x He's gonna kill me when he see this. *runs away

We shall visit the airport someday, alright?

Struggling with Auditing. =( On the verge on giving up already.


14.11.2008

Quite a relaxing day today. Only had an hour of Smart Ledger lesson and we're off to do our own stuffs. Did nothing for PIE lesson, except for that introductory presentation. =\ Well, my goal and ambition are forever the same. Up till this stage of my life, at least. Everyone must've gotten sick of what I said already.

Lunch-ed at Junction 8's food court with dear and Cynthia. Been eating outside quite regularly. And this means spending alot. Should start to help dear to save up already. Got my hint, dear? =)

Had a craving for chocolate fondant after lunch and so suggested that we go Bugis. Reached there and ended up shopping in Bugis Street. =x Got myself a top and I'm so in love with it. =D Went Bugis Junction for dessert after that. And dear is forever so sweet. =D But I somewhat regretted going there because I got myself "fish bites" after Cynthia came. Grrr.. Really pig lah! =(

Headed home and saw Shu Fen on the bus. Not sure if she's seen me though.

I may not be good with words, but trust me, I'm a good listener. =)

Cruz is off to Taiwan! Oh man, I so miss him! =( Gotta wait for another week before I can hear his voice again..


15.11.2008

Woke up at 11am today. Damn happy! =D

Brother was searching for our company at google and he saw our company's blog. That was when I remembered I actually created that a year ago. =x

Torres-Stevie combination. Yay! Stevie scored again! =)

I want to go Hong Kong! =(


16.11.2008

Just visited a blog and I saw something. Pictures of vodka.

Had some pictures to be posted up actually. But I'm not in the mood to do that anymore.


I just can't get over it.


Emo-ness came over me whenever I saw the imeem player with "说好的幸福呢"...

Labels: Hong Kong, Liverpool, Napfa Test, Stressed, Studies, Yes 933

Been thinking alot and alot that I only managed to sleep a lil the previous night. He doesn't have a good sleep too, I guess. Anyway, probably too overly-stressed, I could actually dream during the short sleep that I had. Two consecutive days. Different dreams, but are related. I'm still very much troubled by the attachment thingy. I was like keep getting picked on by her. Just how long do this have to go on? I really dread attending her lessons now.

Alright, back to what happened yesterday. Seriously, you don't have to explain at all, you know? You aren't at fault at all, really. I'm the one who started all these. I just can't get over what happened. Your insists in your fault just hurts me and made me guilty. And that just made me feel worst that I teared thrice.

I'm sorry. I know I've made you worried again.

You don't have to explain about what happened between the two of you, you know? I really understand. I guessed it's because she's someone whom I've "seen" and heard of online before, that's why I keep having those thoughts. But I know. I really do. Just give me some time to rid her off my mind, alright?

You passed me your phone. That would mean you'll be without your phone till tomorrow. That really touched me that you could actually go to the extent of doing this. But don't worry, I told you I won't invade your privacy, and I won't.

You hugged me tightly, but I tried evading. Give me more time, alright? I know you're feeling terrible. But I just can't stop thinking.

You told me in train that you're feeling terrible. I know. I know how much sorrows and pain I've caused you. I've been thinking and thinking. Am I suitable for you? Am I suitable to be in this relationship? And many many. I couldn't give myself an affirmed answer. I feel like giving up. That's why at that point in time, I wanted to tell you those three words. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I know I'll regret. But giving you up for someone much better and worthy of your love might be the better solution.

Is this the end..?

What am I going to do?

When will the cheerful me be back again?


I still love you.

Just give me more time, alright?

"Bei Ying" is being played as I previewed my entry. And that just made me think of you.

Labels: Down, Stressed